Look who's talking

Published on Friday 18 January 2008 14:06

Hillary Clinton on… how to be president

I JUST love Scotland. (It's that little place in the north of England, right?) And what's more, I love the women of Scotland. After all, it's the women who get you into power (and the men who drag you down). I'm humbled that you've asked me for my advice – I'd like to think you too can "find your voice".

Unfortunately, you can't be president of the United States. That's not a gender thing, it's a constitutional thing – you have to be born there. But if you want to get ahead, and maybe become taoiseach one day (or is that Ireland?), here are my tips for the top.

Above all else, you must be dedicated. I can pretty much say that my whole life has been geared to this moment. After graduating from Yale Law School, I was the first female partner of my law firm. I was First Lady of the US from 1993 to 2001 and I like to think I made my presence felt – my husband told the nation they were getting "two for the price of one", and he wasn't wrong there. Oh, and I bit my tongue about certain lapses on my husband's part. I knew it was the best thing to do in the long term. I don't see Monica Lewinsky running for president, so who's having the last laugh now, cigar girl?

Now, though, at 60, I realise that most of this effort was pointless.

All I needed to do was cry. One second's welling up at a coffee shop in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, and the women turned out in droves to vote for me. Forget the book learning and the political experience and the grinding away at legislation, from now on I'm just going to turn on the waterworks. And I'm looking into getting sponsorship from Kleenex. God bless America. And God bless Scotland too, wherever it may be…