Liam Rudden: Eurovision comes at a price

Published on Friday 4 June 2010 10:46

"FREEZE. All together... right arm bend, right arm bend. Left arm bend, left arm bend. Dance like you want to. Bow, arrow, bow, arrow. Left snap snap. Right snap snap. Bow, arrow, bow, arrow. Right snap snap. Left snap snap. Reach for the sky. Reach for the sky. Then repeat, ending with right arm saluting the sky."

As the urban beat of Norwegian duo Madcon's infectious single Glow boomed out, that was the 'flash dance' they taught us in the Telenor Arena, Oslo, ahead of the 55th Euro-vision Song Contest going live last Saturday night.

The cheapest and best interval act ever, eat your heart out Riverdance, even if it did end up with 15,000 people frozen to the spot, right arms raised in the air like something from a WW2 youth rally.

Choreography wasn't the only thing I learned at this year's Eurovison camp-fest. I also learned that the pundits know nothing, seemingly snatching their favourites out of the air, and that the audience know nothing. Normally being able to see the act on stage without having to stand is a bad thing. I could see Belgium clearly. No one stood excitedly waving their flags. Surely they had no chance – they came sixth.

Finally, I learned that we delegates know nothing... my last look at the straw poll of journos and those in the media village had Israel (whose singing was painful on the night) in first place and Iceland's Hera Bjork (my favourite) in second.

But what do I know? Indeed, the older I get the less I seem to know. Music is a young person's game as the 120 million viewers and German winner, Lena, proved.

The UK on the other hand... well, what can I say? Pete Waterman and Mike Stock looked relaxed as they watched the dress rehearsal in the press centre earlier in the day, although they were deep in discussion.

Had the challenge they faced just dawned on them, or rather the challenge that faced Josh Dubovie?

Even the usual excuse of political voting couldn't be used this year due to rule changes. The truth is we put up the weakest song. In the hall, which was like a sauna, Josh's appearance proved the cue for everyone to go for a cooling drink or just to chat.

Not that the conspiracy theorists haven't still had a field day analysing the voting. The best I've heard so far is that Germany won because it is the only country that can afford to host the event – and as a thank you for bailing out Greece in the current Eurozone nightmare.

Mmm! The great thing about Germany winning, however, is that next year's event will be a bit more wallet friendly – two cheeseburgers and chips and two 500ml bottles of Coke in Oslo cost 280kr. That's 30!

I can tell you, that didn't sound good to me.