Law and Legal Affairs: court shorts

Published on Sunday 5 September 2010 19:45

High and flighty HE HAD trudged up two flights of stairs – puffing and panting at the door of the courtroom, the ounfit visitor announced: "I see what they mean by the High Court."

Opening gambit

•LORD Osborne stopped to draw breath as he went through a lengthy opening statement to counsel in the appeal court, and he wouldn't have been greatly encouraged by the lack of immediate response as he stated: "I hope you are following what I am saying."

Stage fright

•FIRST counsel waiting in the wings: "You're on before me, are you going to be long?"

Second counsel: "No."

First counsel: "Pity, I was looking for a stay of execution."

Speed appeal

•LAWYERS in the case had been taken by surprise on learning a date for the appeal had been fixed within a month. "Sometimes we are more efficient than others," boasted Lord Carloway.

Miss judged

•DEFENCE counsel Mark Moir may not be looking forward to his next appearance in front of Lady Smith. He told Lord Mackay that, previously, the case had been before "your brother judge, Lady Smith".

An amused Lord Mackay replied: "I will take that in the spirit it was intended … but I cannot guarantee Lady Smith would have the same approach."

Depth sentence

•LORD Reed confessed to having difficulty in keeping up with all the current schemes designed to reduce prison overcrowding. "What does an eight-month sentence amount to in reality these days?" he asked.

That figures

•THE case had required all manner of complex calculations to work out the injured woman's loss of earnings, and Lady Stacey, below, finally arrived at a figure but was not taking any chances. "I will put the case out by order to discuss any arithmetical errors," she said.