Kirsty McLuckie: Time to take a stand against this pick'n'mix approach to church

Published on Tuesday 8 July 2008 20:41

I LOVE the story of the vicar who evicted a couple's own child from their wedding ceremony for making too much noise.

Ashley and Vicky Thorpe have complained that the Reverend David Cameron ruined their wedding in Staffordshire when he asked that their two-year-old son, Cameron, be removed after he shouted his father's name throughout the vows. When the groom's grandmother protested, she was evicted too.

I don't know the specific details of this case, but I like to think that the Rev Cameron had had enough of everything that a modern-day vicar, minister or priest has to put up with to compete with the country house hotels, supermarkets and hot-air balloons to stay in the wedding-venue business. "Not regular churchgoers?" No problem. "Cohabiting with a brood of children before marriage?" Matters not a jot. "Non-believer?" We'll try and keep the religious bits to a minimum then. To say anything else may cause an uproar.

Having your house of worship treated like a venue for a knees-up, where a bride and groom that you've never seen before get to decide who attends and how they behave, must be frustrating. It's surprising that more men and women of the cloth don't get wedding rage.

And it isn't just weddings; it is also reported that Rev Cameron doesn't allow any music but hymns at funerals which, if true, also prompts my admiration. There are only so many times that you can hear Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On before a crisis of faith occurs, in people's taste in music, if not in God.

Here I have to admit that I was once nearly evicted from a christening at which I was acting as godmother. The church in question was Catholic, as was the priest and the infant.

I am not, but was persuaded that "they'll never know" by the baby's parents.

It is wedged into my psyche as one of the most embarrassing moments of my life, when the priest, obviously alerted to the situation by my weak genuflecting and mumbled responses, decided to stop the ceremony to question my credentials.

I'm not proud that I got away with it and on reflection think that the priest was right; if you want your baby to be christened in his church, then you have to play by his rules. Just as if you want to wed the father of your child in a church. At least one of those present at the Thorpes' wedding was prepared to take the vows seriously enough to think it important that they were heard.

Being a bit stricter with those who want a religious ceremony to mark the turning points in their lives might put off the less keen, but I can't see that as a bad thing.

Broadsheet best for bull…no pun intended

BEING a loyal employee, it isn't often that I would recommend the Herald as a newspaper. But reading about the bull running in Pamplona this week, I feel a case for switching to our west-coast rival for the day could be made.

Monday saw the first of eight scheduled bull runs, during which 13 people were injured according to the Spanish Red Cross. Seven more runs are scheduled, with the most crowded taking place this weekend.

Traditionally, runners wear white trousers and shirts and red kerchiefs around their necks. And they are allowed to carry a rolled-up newspaper to gauge how far away a charging bull is.

And this is my point; if you are up against runners employing the Berliner-sized Spanish daily El Pais, bringing your own could give you the edge.

The Herald, as a broadsheet, is the paper to utilise. And roll it lengthwise.

• HOLLYWOOD screen legend Cary Grant has been named Greatest Ever Male Style Icon in a survey that questioned only men, which might be considered odd when you muse on how few blokes you see on the street in a Cary Grant get-up. If they admire him so much, why not emulate him? Women copy their icons.

Sartorially, Mr Average is more likely to resemble Hugh Grant, in his awful shorts from Four Weddings… than Cary Grant.

I suspect the answer is that most men, aside from teenagers with self-esteem issues, are quite comfortable with their own style, no matter how bad it is.