Joke of the day

Published on Saturday 15 November 2008 10:04

Two men were playing the final round of their club's golf championship.

They had reached the last hole, and one of them needed a 6ft putt to win.

The hole was close to a road, and just as he was lining up his shot, a hearse drove by on the road.

He came off his shot, took his cap off and waited until the hearse went by before making his putt.

His opponent said: "That was a very humane thing you did just then."

The winner replied: "It was the least I could do, I was married to her for 37 years."

Jim L, Davidson's Mains

A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. The barman looks at the creature and asks the man what he calls it.

"Tiny" replies the man. "Why's that?" asks the barman. "Because he's my newt!"

Mark Wilson, Portobello

What is green and sings in the garden?

Elvis Parsley.

Mo Fitzpatrick, Sciennes

Did you hear about the robbers who fell in the sea?

They started a crime wave.

Bill Johnstone, Clermiston

What do you get when you cross poison ivy with 4 leaf clovers?

A rash of good luck!

Geraldine Montgomery, Abbeyhill

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