John Gibson: You can put your shirt on Bill's tales

Published on Friday 20 August 2010 12:37

IF he had a quid for each after-dinner speaking engagement he's done Bill Barclay could afford . . . well, he could afford an Easter Road season ticket.

In his 40 years on the circuit, speaking and gagging, he hasn't known that many hecklers. Mind you, you wouldn't wish to trade "serious" banter with him. Six feet and built like the side of the Famous Five stand.

Club work has virtually vanished and, bouncing off him at a Jazzfest gathering in the Apex Waterloo, he said he can't complain.

"I was in on the folk scene, singing and cracking jokes when the likes of Billy Connolly, Jasper Carrot and Mike Harding were up here making their way. I couldn't have asked for a better apprenticeship, nor, many years later, a better film director. Martin Scorsese cast me in Gangs of New York. I was a member of the Shirt Tail Gang in the movie."

Barclay still has a tale to tell about his father, bass player in the resident dance band at "colourful" Stewart's Ballroom at Regent Road ages ago.

Coalition cracks

Lies, all lies. We're hearing them every day from the crumbly Coalition. Where do we begin? Cameron? Pre-election he promised to protect benefits for the elderly, including winter fuel. Now backtracking. You voted for him? Sucker!

We'll have demos in the streets before long. Be seeing you out there.

Call me Dave's reluctant bedfellow tricky Nicky Clegg is as big a chancer. No way will the Coalition survive. You're reading it here as you wonder how you'll get through the winter. You voted them in. Vote them out.

All the while, Chancellor Osborne blusters on about delivering a "fairer society".

Afterwords . .

... Always good to hear from queen of the sparklers Naomi Campbell, who'd have us believe she can't tell the difference between a pebble and a diamond.

C'mon, woman, get this off your chest: "People react badly to the things I do because I'm just supposed to be a dumb model."

But you are, Naomi, you are.