John Gibson: Yes, a pussy still bearing her claws!

Published on Thursday 18 June 2009 09:26

GIRNY galore. "I'm not very good at living with someone," admits Honor Blackman (Pussy Galore to the Goldfinger generation).

I can believe it. She couldn't live with me when we crossed swords in a memorable meet in Edinburgh. Doubtless one that's long escaped her mind. It's an age thing, you know.

She came off second best in that brief encounter. She can still be feisty with it, a more recent interview suggests. She's owning up to 83. Really? Is that all she is?

Tony is toast

You read the other day about the housewife who opened a jar of Marmite and was stunned to see Jesus staring at her, the face resembling the images of our Lord seen in paintings and stained glass windows.

Such ephemeral things do happen. Like when I opened a jar of Horlicks the other night and saw Anne Robinson peering up at me.

That's not all. She winked at me. I dialled 999 right away. That same withering wink that can freeze a man at a hundred yards. A truly nightmarish experience. Couldn't sleep a wink all night.

Almost as unnerving, the face of Tony "Time Team" Robinson on a slice of toast next morning.

Jail them both

Is this guy out of his skull? The boss of the Scottish Prison Service Mike Ewart is slavering that allowing criminals to walk our streets will make communities safer. Say that again?

You couldn't make it up. Ewart deserves a stiff sentence himself and here it is: how much are they paying you and how did you get the job?

A lengthy stint behind bars for you and Justice Secretary Kenny MacAskill as your cellmate would do communities a power of good.

In your right minds, the pair of you? We have to doubt it.

Afterwords . .

. . . retiring Peter Sissons, 66, digging at TV's autocuties in general, the grossly overpaid 1m-a-year Kaplinsky, an ageing autocutie at 36, in particular: "We've got to make sure the new generation of news presenters have what the old generation had, which is knowing how the old world worked." Quite so, Pete and good luck to you.