John Gibson: Just give us spag bol and we're happy

Published on Monday 16 November 2009 09:05

WE'VE long been the talk of literary circles, Jeffrey Archer and I. We do have, of course, a fair bit in common. Kindred spirits, although I concede our pens can be at variance.

Wildly. His preference is for a pricey felt marker, mine a Biro (buy one and get a hundred free). When we last met, over a fraught fry-up one morning in the Caledonian Hotel, he looked fit. And he stays fit.

"At noon I go for a long walk. I like to keep fit because I've reached an age (69] where I'm very aware of my own mortality." Me, too, Jeff.

Samey in our ways, yes. He's a plain eater and reveals: "I like to keep it simple. I'll maybe have shepherd's pie or spaghetti bolognese." See you later, salivator.

Strung along

Some numpties needed to be told. Guitars aren't just for hanging round your neck. Ash Gupta's been playing one, since even before the world had heard of Jimi Hendrix, and you'll find him Jammin' at the Voodoo in West Register Street's Voodoo Rooms last Thursday each month.

He's shouting about his special guest next week, renowned session player Jerry Donahue, over from Los Angeles with a to-die-for CV . . . played alongside Jeff Beck, Robert Plant, Elton John, Chris Rea.

Gupta, agog, tells me: "Tickets a fiver, it's a small room, and we've only a hundred. What's left will be at the door. Local musicians can jam with Jerry, by invitation only. The evening is sponsored by Guitar Guitar, the store who'll be sponsoring the sessions through 2010."

Can Jerry get me Jeff's autograph?

Form a queue

A job for some boy. The Electoral Commission, who work diligently for their fat wages, no doubt, have created a cushy number for some deserving soul. He or she is to be titled permanent "elections convener", to oversee future elections in Scotland. You bet it pays plenty. Apply at your nearest Jobcentre. I'd apply myself but I'm bound to be over-qualified.

Afterwords . .

Michael Winner on losers: "When you have a dreadful experience with a hotel or restaurant, it puts you off forever."