John Gibson: Your moby could be a real menace

Published on Thursday 29 July 2010 10:10

What's ailing you? Could be you've got a touch of staphylococcus aureus (brings out pimples and boils, even in the best of us). Trust me, I'm not a doctor.

Something you can catch off your moby, docs have discovered. A regular antibiotic wipe's recommended.

Fifty-five million Brits use mobile phones, so there should be a lot of pimply persons about. Your moby is a breeding ground for all manner of bugs.

Careful now . . . your phone may be bugged.

Taking sanctuary

Bound to be a scramble for St George's West church on Shandwick Place. Closure due in September and I can hear the property vultures flapping from here.

Listed, of course, but the crafty planners have ways and means. Meantime, stay with it. George's will keep on offering midweek activities for "body, mind and soul" right up to curtains. You can always pop in there from the girlie palace a few doors along the street. Sanctuary for the soul.

Weight a minute

Coming over all tetchy, all hissy fits over fat jokes and himself, Eamonn Holmes. I've never liked him. I've said less than complimentary things. Much too syrupy for my taste.

But never "fat." Never anything remotely close to "obese". His knockers alleged he was so peckish he even ate the furniture on the set!

Loves his scoff, does old Eamonn, I'm informed. Wish he'd shove the cutlery aside some day and tell us . . . where exactly is his talent? For syrupy, read gooey.

National treasure

Now in the trust of the Lord, deceased at 86, Hermione Sandwith, the National Trust's First Advisor on the Conservation of Paintings and Sculpture. Her special interest was parasol mushrooms from Cliveden.

Ah, those were the days when people had little else to think about! And how many Hermiones do you know, by the way?

Missing the National Trust already and their presence on Charlotte Square. The Trust does a sterling job and don't let anybody tell you different.