John Gibson: Ready for more of the Volares?

Published on Friday 13 November 2009 09:07

THAT'S some more, eh? Well, what's it to be next year? More Dean Martin at Valvona & Crolla at the Fringe. Can we hack it?

Says the divine deli's boss Philip Contini, who fills Dino's shoes in the show: "Same again, yes, but what we've got here at Elm Row is a by-public-demand scenario.

"We put on 15 performances and they all sold out. Mind you, we're not talking Murrayfield Stadium. We're a humble 70-seater in our makeshift theatre on the premises. We'd sold out before the run ended."

Singer Contini, who was telling the story of Martin's life in words and music when he wasn't minding the shop, adds: "Next year's show will be tweaked to accommodate a couple of songs popularised by another Italian singer, Al Martino, who died this year. It'll be a taste of the tribute show we'll do on him for the 2011 Fringe.

"We staged 60 varied shows in all over the three weeks this time. Most did well but none as well as the Dino affair. Audiences for that were mid-fifytish and over, in their teens when Dino was their idol."

We might call them Dean Martin anoraks, no disrespect intended. Everybody loves some singer some time.

Annie or granny?

Oh yes, she knows all the answers, the crafty old trout with a penchant for faffing about with her looks. But when you stop to think about it, Annie Robinson (one wink from her and you're a dead man) must have the cushiest job in television.

Somebody sticks a sheet of paper in front of her, with all the questions and answers, then she rattles it all off in The Weakest Link like she's The Brain of Britain.

It's hardly a job that calls for special talent (which she hasn't), nor does it demand specific warmth and charm, which she quite definitely lacks.

Yet, she stands there night after night in those scary Gestapo-ish overcoats, bold as brass, the great inquisitor before she's offski, pocketing the dibs.

It's a job your granny could do. And your granny would be infinitely more watchable. I'd shove the know-all off the bus before your granny.

Afterwords . .

. . . Who said: "I'm so sweet, even I can't stand it." Anne Robinson? Don't be daft. No, Julie Andrews, recently turned 74.