John Gibson: Billy is the top dog at Redford!

Published on Monday 23 November 2009 08:39

GOD help them! These past 18 months Brigadier Craig Lawrence, top soldier at Redford Infantry Barracks at Colinton, has had 3,500 troops under his command. I'm about to blow his cover.

He was powerless against his year-old Jack Russell. Billy totally ignored his executive words of command, like "stay!" and "sit!" while the mutt tried to snaffle the biscuits during our coffee break. Billy was up on my lap soon as I stepped into the Brig's office.

Apologising all the while for Billy's misbehaviour, he told me he has been taking a language course in Dari in preparing for deployment to Afghanistan. Now, though, he won't be needing it to converse with the Afghans. He learned last week he is not going to the war zone.

Instead, the Ministry of Defence have created a new job he'll begin next year at Headquarters Land Forces, near Salisbury.

"Personally I'm sad to be leaving Redford come January. I'll be wearing my MoD programmer's hat as a prelude to the Defence Review next summer. It's a sensible way to make use of resources that are finite." Army-speak and evidently it's a lingo that Billy doesn't want to know.

The Brig, 46, was commissioned into a Gurkha battalion and he will renew acquaintances with them around Salisbury. He is a trustee of the Gurkha Welfare Trust. Joanna Lumley's to become a patron. Hope she keeps a HobNob in her handbag for Billy.

Brigadier Lawrence's new title, by the way: Chief of Staff of Force Developments and Training Commands. Whoever invented that mouthful, possibly some stiff upper lipped civil servant, should be locked up in a biscuit-less room with Billy.

Booze 'n' bridies

Fills me with dread, so it does, reports that Greggs, purveyors of sturdy grub for fine diners, contemplate bidding for a struggling off-licence chain, the Threshers and Haddows group.

Said to be interested in a hundred of their stores, among them Victoria Wine and Wine Rack. The administrators say they've been overwhelmed by the interest in 373 stores in all set to close.

Imagine. Greggs the Bakers doubling up with Greggs the Boozers. It could revolutionise the health of the nation. Choking on my Greggs bridies and cream buns as I write.