Janet Christie on parenting: "They were being sarcastic, sniff, snotter ..."
Youngest Child is basically a boy with extra felt pens. She has some girl toys, like her brothers' dolls' house – a bid to socially engineer men in touch with their feminine sides (they played earthquakes) – until, dry eyed, she waved it off to the school fair.
"What if you have children?" I asked.
"Ha! Probably won't. And if I do, you'll be looking after them. You keep it."
It goes, and I plan my future world tour.
This week there's more boy behaviour. Two of her friends come for a sleepover. Elementary error, an odd number. Warring factions should be equal. Ah ken noo.
I find Youngest watching telly alone. "Where's Wee Minx One?"
"In the bathroom. Leave her. She's fine."
I hear sobbing through the door. "What's wrong sweetie?"
"They're disagreeing, gasp, sob …"
Then Wee Minx Two is discovered wedged between a sideboard and the wall. "They were being sarcastic, sniff, snotter …"
Youngest crunches her crisps, unperturbed. "What's wrong with them?" I ask. "Nothing," she says. "They're girls."
Boy sleepovers are all heavy carb provision and the odd whiff of smoke that precludes a raid where I shout then return to the TV. But this! Drying tears, giving cuddles, treats, joining in the post-tears hysterical giggling … I'm wrung out.
Sometimes it's hard to be a woman.
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Weather for Edinburgh
Wednesday 19 June 2013
Temperature: 9 C to 18 C
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Wind direction: West
Temperature: 12 C to 20 C
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Wind direction: East