Janet Christie: Mum's the word

Published on Friday 6 November 2009 17:21

A cameo of my mother's that has been sitting in a drawer for 25 years is getting an airing because they're trendy again. Either that or I'm turning into my mother, something that fills many women with horror but for me can only be a good thing. She always seemed to know what she was doing.

Youngest Child eyes the brooch. "That's nice. Is that gold? Was that your mum's, my granny's?" It hasn't escaped her attention that anything of value or taste that appears about my person can usually be sourced to a grandmother.

"Will I get that next, when you're a granny?"

"I might still wear it when I'm a granny. I will still need some of my stuff," I tell her.

"OK, after that. When you're dead?"

"I might be a great-granny," I say.

"OK, after that. When you really do die."

"OK then."

I can see she'll have to fight off Middle Child who has also been eyeing up my jewellery recently, albeit in search of bling for his Halloween costume. Gone are the innocent days when he wanted to dress as Satan or a flesh-eating zombie. Nowadays his costumes are way more disturbing. For example, this year's effort: "A pimp."

"A what?"

"A pimp."

"Tell me what you think that is," I say.

"Someone who manages prostitutes."

"How do you know that?"

"From Family Guy," he says.

I knew it! Venezuela's Hugo Chavez is right to ban that cartoon.

"Yes, it's when girls charge for kisses," chimed in Youngest.

"You're not going as that," I tell him.

"Why not? Halloween is meant to be about scary monsters and horrible things. Prostitution is horrible and pimps are very bad people. It's just right for Halloween. Plus the costume's easy. All you need is some too big clothes and a bit of your mum's jewellery."

&#149 This article was first published in The Scotsman Magazine on 07/11/2009