Hugh Reilly: 'Could do better' read parental report cards

Published on Monday 21 February 2011 13:29

IN THE autumn of 1986, six years after I qualified as a teacher, I left the profession.

I had become a teacher to help transform the lives of others but, instead, found that the uncontrollable youngsters in my sink school (the euphemism "school of ambition" had yet to be coined) were turning me into a prime candidate for electro-convulsive therapy at the local psychiatric unit.

Back then, Norman Tebbitt called for the unemployed to get on their bikes, but in a moment of inspiration - or an episode of bipolar madness - I bought a taxi and took to the streets. Driving a cab is not unskilled work: it took me months to master the art of making a totally unexpected U-turn and the hallmark of a seasoned taxi driver, the emergency stop manoeuvre when hailed by a drunken reveller.

The flexible hours allowed me to spend more quality time with my wife and toddler sons. As soon as the morning rush hour was over, I'd whisk them to the leisure centre where the boys would enjoy a whale of a time in the creche while my beloved and I played badminton. After an hour or so, we would retire to the swimming pool where creche staff would reunite us with our issue. My wife would swim lengths like a graceful swan while I happily splashed around in the kiddies' pool.

Fools that we were, we thought they were heavenly days but, unlike Wendy Alexander, neither I nor my sweetheart had an outstanding intellect. Last week, the former Labour leader announced she would not be standing for re-election. Apparently, she wishes to spend more time with her young twins. Her thinking outside the ballot box bamboozled the sisters in the 'hood; after all, her kids start school in August.

Most mothers in the land look forward to enrolling the kids in P1 and ending their career-break, delighted to say adieu to toddler group politics and nursery gossip. But these women are clearly not intellectuals.

The good news for the Alexander children is that slipping off to the Land of Nod listening to a non-working, egghead mum reading the James Joyce anthology of bedtime stories should help their education.

In Florida, a Republican politician is calling for parents to be graded regarding their involvement in the child's learning. Objective criteria is employed to pass judgment on mum and dad: absence, tardiness (love that word!), the parents' response to requests for meetings, completion of homework and whether the offspring is "physically ready" for school, eg has had enough sleep and arrives with books and a writing implement.

If only Scottish schools could introduce parents' reports. Presently, a midweek stroll down Buchanan Street gives much insight into the level of parentally-condoned absence. Heck, why go to school when mum is willing to take you on a shopping trip? Latecoming is sometimes a problem for pupils because they rely on tardy parents driving them.And it's "cool" parents who permit their youngsters to stay up till the wee sma" hours playing computer games or updating their Facebook account.

Under the Florida proposal, mater and pater's performance is ranked "satisfactory", "needs improvement" and "unsatisfactory". Parents with a poor grading do not face sanctions - the report card is perceived to be merely a helpful prompt for backsliding mothers and fathers.

Any initiative that promotes greater parental engagement in a child's learning receives my vote of approval. In my experience, most parents desire a good education for their children but for many reasons - for example, work commitments - they frequently fail to register a consistent interest in the kid's progress. Some consider it sufficient to simply ask their youngster: "How was school today?" When the surly teenager inevitably replies: "Fine!", the adult believes the role of being a supportive parent has been fulfilled.

In my opinion, it is a minority of parents who dare to go that extra mile by actually discussing and analysing the work done by the pupil. "Could do better" would appear on the report cards of many mums and dads.