Holyrood faces new battle for biggest seats

Published on Sunday 27 July 2003 01:00

DOES my bum look big in this parliament? MSPs who have failed to take the Scottish Executive’s advice on healthy eating may find the new seats of power at Holyrood a bit of a tight squeeze.

The sit-in bay windows on the MSPs’ office block at the new parliament complex were designed to allow politicians a quiet place for contemplation amid the whirlwind of debates and controversy.

However, not all the seats will be wide enough to accommodate the posteriors of the plumpest of Scotland’s 129 elected representatives.

While half of the windows will be a comfortable one metre wide, the rest will be a buttock-clenching 40cm, smaller than most airline seats.

The controversial windows, which are fashioned in oak, glass and stainless steel, are among the most striking features of the Scottish parliament building.

At 17,000 apiece, they have attracted particular attention amid the controversy over the ever-increasing cost of the Scottish parliament, which has soared from initial estimates of 40m to current projections of 380m.

One MSP last night claimed that the larger politicians should get first choice of the offices in order to get a big enough contemplation chamber.

The former SNP MSP Margo MacDonald is one of the Scottish parliament’s most generously sized members.

MacDonald, now an independent list MSP for the Lothians, said: "I know we are supposed to be trying to get a good cross-section of people into the Scottish parliament, but at this rate the next parliament will need to have a percentage of people with restricted growth, because they’re the only folk who could squeeze themselves in.

"Not many of the MSPs who lost weight in the last parliament would get their backsides into the contemplation cell.

"I have got a big bottom so I would expect a big one. MSPs with big bottoms should get first choice."

Tory MSP Alex Johnstone, who tips the scales at 22 stone, was worried that even the larger bay windows would be too small for him.

Johnstone, a 6ft 4in Aberdeenshire beef farmer, said: "I would wonder whether the think bubble would actually hold my weight.

"As far as I’m concerned, the contemplation chambers are a waste of time and money. I do plenty of contemplation, but I do it well away from the Scottish parliament.

"There are much better places than the Scottish parliament for contemplation and thinking."

The Scottish parliament’s planners decided to vary the size of the bay windows - dubbed variously ‘think bubbles’, ‘contemplation chambers’ and ‘meditation blisters’ - in order to make the side of the building more interesting for observers.

A parliament spokesman said: "The architects’ plan for the MSP office accommodation includes a number of variations to the design of bay windows.

"The intention is to give the west elevation a more distinctive and less uniform frontage.

"Some windows include the external oak detailing, and they are also fitted in a number of different shapes and depths."

Nervous party chiefs will now be faced with a quandary. Will it be seen as an insult to allocate an MSP an office with a ‘super-sized’ window because it implies they are fat?

During the last session of the Scottish parliament, a number of MSPs ballooned in size because of the endless rounds of coffee and biscuits and the amount of post-debate eating and drinking on offer.

Many decided to lose the weight to be fit enough to campaign for the Scottish parliamentary elections.

A Holyrood spokesman said it would not get involved in handing out the offices to MSPs.

A parliament insider added: "We’re quite happy to leave that to the parties. We will not comment on the girth of our MSPs."