Helen Martin: Avoidable mess of gay adoption

Published on Monday 2 February 2009 08:52

IF Edinburgh's social work department had willfully set out to grab headlines and TV bulletins across the country, they could not have been more successful.

Yet it is hard to believe that the dismal and tragic mess they have made over the care of two young children whose mother is a recovering heroin addict could happen by accident or simple error.

The sad starting point was an unfit mother with a chaotic lifestyle. Fortunately, unlike many in her position – and there are many – she had loving parents herself.

They, despite some health issues of their own, were determined to keep the family together. From then on, with social work support, the story had every chance of a happy ending.

The council could have paid for a "mother's help" if that was an issue, day care, perhaps provided financial aid, ongoing foster care with regular family visits . . . there were options.

Instead – and unless there is a major change of heart – after a couple of years of foster care, the children have been ripped from their family and put up, against the wishes of all concerned, for adoption.

The grandparents have exhausted any funds they had to fight the case through the courts and say they were bullied into giving up.

I am tempted to think there must have been some insane competition among social workers. A hostess trolley perhaps, or a cuddly toy, to whoever could possibly come up with an idea that could make this case even more contentious, even more controversial and even more of a "red top tabloid" scandal.

The winning idea? Place the two children, one of whom is uncomfortable around men (allegedly because she saw her mother being beaten up) with two gay men. And "punish" the grandparents' disapproval by saying that if they don't accept the plan they will never have access to their grandchildren again.

I am sure the gay couple have the best of intentions and may well make terrific parents for some children, but this would be only the second gay adoption in Edinburgh. These children and their family have already been through too much to be a "test case" with all the publicity it inevitably attracts.

Now, whining about the attention and furore they themselves created, social workers say the plans "might fall through". That would certainly be the best outcome although not without casualties, including the gay couple whose hopes might now be dashed, who were already getting to know the kids and who have also been put through the emotional wringer.

Is there anyone in the council's social work or PR department whose job it is to point out to witless employees that they are lighting a rocket under their own posteriors? Could the social workers not see for themselves what an unholy mess they were making?

All over the country, caring, respectable grandparents who are not in the best of health and are not financially blessed are looking after their grandchildren. Surely the department's job is to assist them, not dismantle the family for no reason.

Elsewhere in the UK, their colleagues seem intent on keeping families together – in some cases even when the children are being systematically tortured to death by uncaring psychopaths.

The ripples of this case will go on and on, no matter what happens to the children involved. Many children are successfully brought up in far from perfect conditions. Loving families who want to do their best will now think twice before asking for social work "help" and will struggle on as best they can rather than lose the kids for ever.

True story time. My husband left me only days after my son was born. My bank account was emptied. I had no money, not surprisingly post-natal depression and reactive depression, and I was 400 miles away from my family.

We travelled home to my mother in Glasgow. She was 70 with arthritis and a minor heart condition.

She looked after the baby Monday to Friday while I made the daily 100-mile round trip to work in Edinburgh. It was almost three years before I could afford a home in Edinburgh and the childcare.

It could have been worse. I could have asked social services for help.

It drives me spare

AFTER a relentless government and council-waged war against the motor car and all who drive the, after punishing road tax, petrol costs, congestion charges, parking fees and ever extending zones, we discover all we really needed was a recession.

Now, as in America, public money is to be ploughed into supporting car manufacturers in order to save jobs.

Many companies supplying manufacturers with parts are already on a three day week. And Honda are telling staff to stay at home for months because of lack of demand.

Is it too much to hope the anti-car lobby might finally put a sock in it?