Frank Furedi: There's always a loser in a custody battle – it's the child

Published on Friday 16 April 2010 23:09

CUSTODY battles are always very messy. Matters are further complicated when – as in the case of Guillaume Ritchie – the parents are of different nationalities and come from different cultures. In such circumstances parental conflict is amplified by fears that the child will adopt an alien identity and will be lost to the family.

As other members of the family assert their claim, it is all too easy to overlook what is in the best interest of the child.

Feuding partners have a tendency to fight their wars through their offspring. Invariably they incite their child to take sides and lose sight of the fact youngsters need to believe that both their mother and father have their best interest at heart.

All too frequently parents and family members get so caught up in the unfolding drama that they resort to acts of emotional blackmail and manipulation to undermine the child's relation with the other side.

Yet the disruption of a child's relation with a parent disorients the life of the youngster. Forcing a youngster to take sides diminishes the foundation for a child's development.

In such circumstances a child can never make the right choice. Whichever parent wins the battle, the child is most likely to come out as the loser.

&#149 Frank Furedi is a writer on parenting and professor of sociology at the University of Kent in Canterbury