Fiona McCade: Why I'm not sold on John Lewis revamp
Marketing can mean many things. It ought to mean getting your product out into the world in the most imaginative and exciting way possible. At its best, marketing is a creative and inspired way of communicating what you're selling to those who will want it, and also getting people to want it who might not have done otherwise. In fact, good, careful, intelligent marketing can set up a brand for several lifetimes.
Alternatively, marketing can be a business where smart-arse people, who weren't cute enough to make it in PR, sit around messing with perfectly good brands because they need to justify their expensive existence.
We've seen it happen so many times. A well-known and well-trusted company will have been doing steady business for a couple of centuries. Then, because some marketing consultant has told them they need a bright, shiny, 21st century market presence, they acquiesce to a rebrand and suddenly, they're called something like "Linen", their logo is an unrecognisable blob, their profits dive, and everybody asks "Where did it all go wrong?"
As if the example of Marks and Spencer at the turn of this century wasn't clear enough (highest profits ever to flatlining in a handful of years after putting marketing fancy before customer needs), the High Street's best-loved store, John Lewis, is now threatening to "revamp" itself.
"Revamp" is always a scary word in marketing. It's a not-very-subtle way of saying "We think we should do something, but nobody can think of anything to do - except change. So that's what we'll do!"
The scariest thing about John Lewis's proposed revamp is what's coming out of the mouth of its director of marketing, Craig Inglis. He says John Lewis is "15 years behind Tesco" when it comes to customer relationship management; he wants to overcome outdated perceptions; be less "beige"; be more "polarising"; and if customers "hate our recent ads…that's OK. We've got to challenge them."
Newsflash, Mr Inglis. Customers don't want to be "challenged". We just want to buy nice stuff, from nice people, at nice prices. And if you don't believe that this describes the John Lewis shopping experience, you should decline your salary, because you obviously don't love and appreciate your employer nearly enough. Certainly not as much as most of Britain, as we've just voted it our favourite retailer for the fourth year running. If our perception of John Lewis is outdated, pardon us, but we know what we like.
I'm also surprised that Mr Inglis yearns for a Tesco-like relationship with customers. Does Tesco have the same, exalted standards of customer service as John Lewis? Next time I'm in Tesco and it doesn't have what I'm looking for, can I simply ask an assistant to call the nearest store and arrange to have exactly what I want sent over, then get them to call me when it arrives? No, I didn't think so.
As for "beige", that's one of those dumb, marketing-speak words that mean absolutely nothing in reality.You might as well say John Lewis is "nude", or "camel".
I suspect John Lewis's director of marketing is a bit bored with everyone being happy and wants to shake things up a bit. He probably wants to attract a hip new clientele, rather than one which needs new hips. There's nothing wrong with that, but in my experience, John Lewis already has something for everyone. Even if you don't discover that as a child, just wait until you're ready to make a wedding list.
The bottom line is that despite a hulking great recession, John Lewis's profits are up more than 10 per cent on last year. Most people would think it's not worth antagonising, "polarising", or "challenging" a customer-base that so faithfully supports a business in tough times like these, but most people are not in marketing.
As part of this revamp, Mr Inglis wants John Lewis to employ a "Director of Insight". Since I have excellent judgment and the best interests of John Lewis at heart, I reckon I could do that job brilliantly. And my first insight would be to change the director of marketing.
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