Fiona McCade: Sisters are doin' themselves down

Published on Tuesday 14 June 2011 16:57

JUST the other day, Sarah Jessica Parker was snapped by a paparazzo as she popped out to buy a newspaper. She was wearing - as you do - a tight mini-dress and high-heeled ankle-boots; her legs were bare and her hair was long and flowing free. Not bad for 46-years-old, you might think. But not everybody would agree.

A new survey of 2,000 women's attitudes to fashion and ageing has shown that nobody is tougher on themselves than the females of our species.

Brace yourselves, girls - and especially you, SJP - because there are women out there who believe that none of us should wear a mini-skirt after the age of 35.

And it gets even harsher. According to those questioned (by a diet meals manufacturer, so remember there may be jealousy involved), no woman should be caught in high heels after the age of 51. You can forget bikinis after 47, and even one-piece swimsuits should be out of bounds by your 61st birthday. At 44 you're too old for trainers; leather trousers are a no-no after 34 and - the clock's ticking, SJP - long hair should be cut off once you've reached 53.

Being a woman can be hard work, but we don't exactly make it easy for ourselves, do we? Ten per cent of the women questioned had bought an item of clothing only to take it straight back to the shop because they'd lost confidence and decided it was "too young" for them. But who is judging us? Who is deciding what's mutton and what's lamb?

Not men, that's for sure. They're usually begging us to keep our long hair and shimmy around in leg-lengthening heels, not to mention fantasising about Helen Mirren in her red bikini, aged 62. (Poor Helen! How could she not realise she was 15 years past her wear-by date?)

Sadly, the truth is that women's harshest critics are other women. We censor ourselves way too much and we've really got to stop, especially if we're coming up with mad and utterly arbitrary rules like "No woman should be seen with a ponytail after the age of 51" (two years before she has her long hair shaved off by her affronted girlfriends, obviously).

Frankly, sisters, we sometimes need a damned good slap. We're far too worried about what other people - or should I say, other women - will think about us, when we should be enjoying our looks and our bodies for as long as we possibly can.

Surely, it's up to the individual to decide what's acceptable and what isn't? There's no doubt that sleek, slender SJP can still carry off the long-hair and short-skirt look better than many 20-year-olds, so good luck to her.

But of course, we all have crises of confidence. I faced a moment of truth recently, when I tried on an old T-shirt dress that I hadn't worn for a few years. Suddenly, it looked less like a dress and more like a T-shirt, and for the very first time, I thought, "I don't feel comfortable in this any more", followed quickly by, "Did I honestly wear this outside the house, or has it shrunk?"

But what I wear is my choice, and nobody else's.And just because I've retired one dress - which was starting to make me look like Shirley Temple - doesn't mean I'm ready to say to my knees, "You've seen daylight for the last time, my pretties." I refuse to give up on mini-skirts yet, and as for one day waving goodbye to high heels and swimsuits - I'll be buried in them first.

However, I have to do as I would be done by. If I'm going to demand my right to cram my geriatric carcass into a bikini even when I resemble a withered walnut, I must be equally generous to others.

The very day I saw the photos of SJP, I passed a woman in the street wearing a ra-ra skirt. She had to be 60 and she had to be a size 16. But she didn't seem to mind, and the man holding her hand certainly didn't. So, why on earth should I?