Fiona McCade: Office chic should not include 'shriek'

Published on Tuesday 12 April 2011 15:27

There were five of us meeting for Saturday morning coffee. Four of us wore ordinary, casual clothes and a slick of lippie. The fifth turned up in full make-up, a bright turquoise Lycra mini-dress, slashed across the chest, with lace tights and sky-high heels.

The rest of us stared at her, until one had the courage to ask what we'd all been wondering: "Um … did you come straight from the nightclub, sweetie?"

She looked at us in astonishment. "No."

"Are you perhaps going straight on from here to, say, Ladies' Day at Aintree?"

She still seemed bemused. "What's the matter? Are you saying there's something wrong with the way I'm dressed?"

Interesting that of the people sitting around that coffee table, 80% could clearly see that a selection of clothes can send out mixed messages, but the 20% sending those messages genuinely couldn't.

The fact is that one woman's "trashy" will always be some other woman's "classy", and this problem is not restricted to the panto dames at Aintree racecourse, gypsy weddings, or the coffee houses of Edinburgh.

This week, one of London's top law firms was forced to explain to its female trainees that some of their fashion choices had been the focus of complaints.

The internal email at Allen & Overy read: "The main problem seems to be very short skirts and high heels - and generally looking like we're going clubbing instead of to the office (as well as a failure to brush our hair, apparently!)."

A spokesman later said that the firm's dress code is: "…business-casual. We expect staff to use their common sense …We want clients to remember what trainees say, not what they wear."

Given that the starting salary for a trainee at Allen & Overy is 38,000, I suppose these girls aren't going to pop out to Asda for a plain white shirt and a little navy suit like the rest of us, but you'd think anyone intelligent enough to land a job like that would also have the sense to realise that turning up for work looking like a pole-dancer is unacceptable.

However, the problem seems to be fairly widespread. Other leading companies are also recognising the need to issue guidance on suitable office attire.

Even in ever-chic France, the government is sponsoring an initiative to help women on low incomes, as well as the long-term unemployed, learn about good self-presentation, including seminars on hair, fashion choices and general "professional maintenance".

I reckon this French idea is a good one - although in the UK it's obviously not just those on the bottom rung of the employment ladder who need help; the high-flyers are struggling, too. But what's happened to our innate sense of propriety? When did it become the norm for lawyers to go to work looking like Russell Brand in drag?

I think that it stems from our society's obsession with that most nebulous of concepts: self-expression. Self-expression is a popular term used to explain all sorts of appalling behaviour, usually when the perpetrator doesn't want to do something everyone else has been doing happily for years. I suspect that these young lawyers feel that their profession's traditional uniform of smart, dark suit does not avail them of enough room for self-expression, so they're channelling Rhianna instead.

The trouble is, very few people would want Rhianna to defend them in court. As far as the Old Bailey is concerned, certain dress codes clearly signal a serious attitude and respect for the situation.

Six-inch stilettos and bum-skimming skirts are usually only found on the occupants of the dock. Or on the judge, of course.

Equally, slashed Lycra and towering heels at 10am in Costa Coffee make people feel strangely uncomfortable. It's plain common sense to dress appropriately for the occasion and people appreciate the effort, when it's made.

If they want to make the grade in their big, fat legal career, the young ladies at Allen & Overy need to stop looking like barmaids and start looking like lawyers. Unless, of course, they've completely misunderstood what it means to be "called to the bar".