Fiona McCade: Goodbye razors and hello Retrosexuals

Published on Tuesday 9 August 2011 19:08

Elizabeth Hurley has a lot to answer for, and I'm not even talking about her acting. Those who remember her current beau, former cricketer Shane Warne, when he was a cheerful, scruffy, bloke's bloke will not recognise his current incarnation.

Since dating Liz, Shane has lost 22lb, and almost all his masculinity. He is now a sleek, carefully coiffed strawberry blond, with a tangerine perma-tan and Day-Glo teeth. He is waxed, smoothed, plucked, buffed and styled to within an inch of his dignity, and despite his 41 years, hasn't a wrinkle to speak of. In fact, he recently tweeted how happy he was about his complexion, now he's using Liz's Este Lauder Resilience Lift moisturiser.

It's like watching King Kong get a manicure. You just want to shout: "Noooo...." But perhaps the saddest thing about Shane's efforts is that he's done all this work just at the very moment the fashion tide is turning, because according to figures released this week, vain Shane's primped and preened "metrosexual" look is on the way out.

An article in the Grocer magazine has highlighted a significant drop in sales of male grooming products. It appears that men - especially the under-45s - are bothering less and less with stuff such as skincare, hair products and, perhaps most significantly, shaving products.

This "Rise of the Retrosexual", as the Grocer has dubbed this renaissance of manliness, makes me very happy indeed. I always found that "metrosexual" men stank more of insecurity than aftershave, and anyway, if I'm with a bloke, I want him to be admiring me, not himself.

Finally, after decades of metrosexuality, which was really just a glorification of male adolescent paranoia (Does my skin look good? Do I have a spot? Is my hair perfect?), men are reclaiming their plain honest ruggedness. And not a moment too soon.

I'm married to a "retrosexual" man and I'm glad that his time has come because I feel that retrosexual virtues have been undervalued for too long. Mr Retrosexual is clean - at least, when the month has an "r" in it . He's just being his natural self, so he won't hog the bathroom and won't spend hours getting ready, or tweaking his hair (and therefore won't ever wake up looking like a third member of Jedward). He's comfortable in his own skin and doesn't feel the need to prove anything.

When I first met my husband-to-be, I'm ashamed to admit that I asked him to shave off his beard. I was young and foolish, and had been brainwashed by years of metrosexual propaganda, which said that beards were the sole preserve of geography teachers and Open University lecturers. Despite fancying every follicle, I still felt pressured by society to ask my new love to lose the whiskers. Thankfully, he told me where I could stick the Wilkinson Sword. His facial hair was his choice, not to mention part of his Viking heritage, and if I wanted some callow narcissistic loon, there were plenty out there.

He was absolutely right. So now I'm happily settled with my unashamedly beardy bloke, I realise that retrosexuality doesn't necessarily mean a total lack of interest in grooming. Retrosexual men have the courage and self-confidence to do their own thing, and they look good doing it. They just don't obsess about brand-name products. Bad news for retailers, but good news for mankind.And good news for womankind too. After all, those rough and ready retrosexual men have huge charm. Think Gerard Butler; think Santa Claus. Also, in my experience, if you want something doing that you can't do yourself, call Mr Retrosexual. He's always ready to clean out a sump, and he'll never complain that he broke a nail while doing it.

No woman needs a metrosexual, so we should positively encourage our men to come out as retrosexuals. They're more relaxed, more self-assured, more accepting of our foibles (if he doesn't shave, he can't complain about your legs, can he?), and your Este Lauder Resilience Lift moisturiser will always be safe.