Fiona McCade: It's time to put a better complexion on things

Published on Monday 1 June 2009 19:22

THERE are certain things I would never do without wearing make-up. Although I wouldn't bother putting on any slap if I were just popping across the road for a newspaper, or taking my kid to nursery or playgroup, there are certain everyday activities which demand that I slick on some lippie and mascara.

For instance, I wouldn't dream of going out to work without some sort of cosmetic enhancement, if only to avoid the prospect of dogs barking at me and terrified peasants chasing me with pitchforks and flaming torches.

Nor would I go bare-faced for a night out, or to the hairdresser – if I'm forced to sit in front of a mirror with nowhere else to look, I can't sit with my eyes closed all the time. I also wouldn't get my photo taken, or risk going to places where I might end up meeting lots of new people (first impressions are so important, you know). And one place I wouldn't dream of going slap-free is a garage. Since I know nothing about cars, I've always reckoned my only hope of not being totally fleeced is by appearing both as businesslike and attractive as possible. I know it's a vain hope – in more ways than one – but I accept that I no longer have youth and ingenuousness on my side. I only have the power of camouflage, so I have to use it to fool mechanics that I'm a smart, confident, together woman who knows everything and fears nothing – including their bills. And call me insecure, but I don't feel I can project all that adequately without some serious help from Max Factor and friends.

I know I'm not alone in feeling like this. Most women help Mother Nature along a bit, especially when times are hard. For example, just after 9/11, sales of lipstick in America more than doubled. It was as though women wanted to put on as much bright, brazen war paint as they could, to show that their confidence hadn't been dented by the attacks. They were going to come out fighting, wearing Jungle Red.

Now, news from the cosmetics industry is that the latest recession is giving a huge boost to manufacturers of foundation. It's as though women are responding to the economic downturn by quite literally facing up to it in the best way they can, and "the foundation effect" symbolises the attitude that if we can't have a stable financial situation, we'll settle for a flawless complexion instead. We may be freaking out inside, and coming out in hives everywhere else, but we'll make sure that our silky, serene, spotless faces don't betray us.

Of course, there's make-up and make-up. There's enhancing your best features and there's looking like Jordan after an explosion in the Dulux factory, but – especially as I get older – I'm coming to the conclusion that it wouldn't hurt my prospects to use more of the stuff. In the wake of "the foundation effect" comes new research from two French universities which indicates that men appreciate women more when we go to the trouble of putting on some slap. In an (admittedly small) study of 186 male restaurant customers, when the men were served by 20-year-old waitresses wearing make-up, they tipped those girls an average of 25 per cent more than they did waitresses of the same age who weren't. Since it's not terribly usual for men to approach young girls in the street and say: "You're pretty; here's 5", I can only assume that it wasn't just their cosmetic artistry that made the powdered and painted waitresses more tippable.

If my experiences with garage mechanics are anything to go by, it's most probable that the simple fact of wearing make-up had bestowed upon these girls a greater level of confidence and all-round vivaciousness. If you're feeling good about yourself, you tend to be nicer to other people and make more of an effort to be amenable, so the cogs of social interaction turn more easily and pleasantly. I haven't seen any evidence that the make-up-wearing waitresses were more attractive than their bare-faced counterparts, so I'm assuming it was their manner, rather than their looks alone, that got them their extra money.

Living in interesting times is making more and more of us slap-happy. And even if wearing more make-up won't necessarily increase our income, many of us will try to look as glowing and gorgeous as possible. Not just because we're worth it, but because things seem that bit more bearable when we put on a brave face.