Film review: GI Joe: Rise of the Cobra
GI JOE: RISE OF THE COBRA (12A) * DIRECTED BY: STEPHEN SOMMERS STARRING: CHANNING TATUM, SIENNA MILLER, MARLAN WAYANS, CHRISTOPHER ECCLESTON
HAVING made the dunderheaded Mummy films and the appallingly bad Van Helsing, Stephen Sommers reinforces his position as Hollywood's hackiest blockbuster maker.
Based on the American version of the Action Man toy (yes, really), GI Joe: Rise of the Cobra plays out like someone bought the remake rights to Team America: World Police without realising it was a joke.
Thus we have Channing Tatum leading a covert Special Forces unit whose job it is to jet around the world, apparently laying waste to major tourist attractions while attempting to save humanity from a leather cat-suited Sienna Miller and her crazed Scottish arms dealer lover. Why is he Scottish? Who knows, but he's played by Christopher Eccleston with a thick, indiscriminate brogue uttering such well-known turns of phrase as "You've thrown the caber clear out of the yard" – a strong candidate for worst line of this or any other year.
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Sunday 27 May 2012
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