Festival blog: Things To Do, by Steve Williams

Published on Monday 4 August 2008 19:11

THERE is lots to see and do in Edinburgh, but if for some reason you do find boredom groping your ambitions then here is my list of alternative games to keep you further entertained during the month of August.

1. Royal Mile Bingo – first to see all the following wins. A student lying on the floor to promote his/her show. A battered anything (applies to food not people). An American tourist wearing a kilt. A souvenir shop selling medieval military grade weaponry as a keepsake. A street performer on a unicycle (a bike that doesn't go anywhere – it's basically a stool with a wheel).

2. Monopoly – move your car around the city centre, traversing the various permit parking zones trying not to get a ticket and fine by leaving it outside each hotel for five minutes.

3. Hungry Hippos – go and watch through the window as people eat at any of the many All You Can Eat food outlets and try to pick the diner who will return to the buffet car the most times.

4. Buckaroo – take turns to pile litter on a passed out festival goer (usually lying on the meadows). The one who gets him to buck is the loser.

5. Operation – watch the lovely Armada of pensioners pour out of the Edinburgh Military Tattoo and simply guess which one will need an operation first.

6. Cluedo – the ultimate family whodunit! Book tickets for something really random, go and watch the show, then guess who bought that ticket.

7. Jenga – pile up all your glasses in a pub-based tribute to the tower of Babel. Then, as they fall, watch the management cordially invite you to leave the premises as you protest that it's pub sculpture and this would never have happened to Banksy.

8. Guess Who – pick up a Fringe guide, pick a comedian then go through the programme asking questions about the comedian crossing out unsuccessful endeavours as you quiz your opponent. The winner gets to call the loser "loser" all day 9. Risk – leave your valuables at the bottom of Arthur's seat. Then climb the mountain and see if they are still there when you come back.

These are just a few ideas to pass the time. I guess you could always go to any one of the thousands of shows on offer if these don't hit the mark.

• Steve Williams – The Ultimate Worrier at the Pleasance, 7.15pm, until 25 August.