Hugh Reilly: Staffroom's elders jump at chance of early retirement

Published on Tuesday 3 November 2009 20:45

I AM 53 years old but if one looks at my photograph alongside this column, one could be forgiven for thinking the years have been kind to me.

Unfortunately, the snap was taken in 1997. In a reversal of The Picture of Dorian Gray, my portrait remains unchanged while my wizened face has acquired an unsettling resemblance to Albert Steptoe.

I have never lied about my age, other than when providing details for an internet dating site. But when Glasgow City Council announced an early retirement scheme for teachers aged 55 and over, it did cross my mind to alter my birth certificate. Fibbing about one's age has an honourable history. Patriotic 16-year-old lads who falsified their dates of birth at the outbreak of the First World War to fight the Hun were lauded as heroes.

Changing the last digit of 1956 to 4 wasn't easy, especially when the only writing implement available was my mum's bingo dabber pen. Sure, I experienced feelings of guilt, but I was caught up in the jingoistic fervour that had erupted among staffroom elders on hearing news of possible early release.

The scheme offers up to three years' pension enhancement. However, there is a sting in the tail: an individual who receives the package must agree never to seek employment in a Glasgow school ever again. One can only imagine the emotional turmoil suffered by a demobbed chalkie as he signs his tear-stained premature retirement form with a heavy heart. One can only hope the pension lump sum softens the lump in his throat.

Recent school closures and falling rolls dictate the majority of beneficiaries will be primary teachers. In secondary schools, teachers of subjects where there is a national shortage – English, maths, PE and HE – will not be considered. Normally I would view the exclusion of these lepers to be discriminatory, but given teachers of English and maths delight in forever reminding the rest of us that they teach "high tariff" subjects, their whingeing only heightens the schadenfreude among their sniggering "low tariff" peers.

Priority will be afforded to those on conserved promoted salaries eg department principals who lost out with the creation of faculty head posts. Although shorn of all middle management responsibilities, the system forces these victims to accept thousands of pounds extra each year for doing the job of a classroom teacher. This injustice is a scar on the back of education.

Pedagogue pundits predict the scheme will be over-subscribed, but I'm not so sure. True, the timing has something of a perfect storm feel about it. There has never been a more opportune moment to leave the profession, with the impending introduction of A Curriculum for Indolence and Fiona Hyslop looking secure as education minister. But with demand for supply teachers on a par with that for street lamplighters, those who go are unlikely to be able to supplement their pension with a few days' absence cover each month.

The demise of hundreds of permanent posts is not necessarily good news for NQTs (Newly Qualified Teachers), as the consequence of the credit crunch is that NQTs will likely be hired on temporary contracts. This casualisation of the teaching workforce gives an employer greater flexibility but makes life much more difficult for the employee. Already saddled with student debt, NQTs will find banks cautious about lending mortgages to those with the job security of a one-legged pole dancer.

Glasgow's scheme is ostensibly a one-off, but one doesn't need to be Nostradamus to predict the effects of the recession will be around for a few years more. If early retirement deals are on offer in two years' time, I'll be a picture of happiness.