Daddy Cool

Published on Friday 17 April 2009 15:11

I AM told that a trip to the zoo with my fast-growing daughter is unavoidable. Not that she wouldn't enjoy it; far from it. Animals – or "an-mulls" – are just about her favourite thing, after yoghurt and raisins.

It is me who has a problem with going to the zoo. I know zoological societies do good conservation work but the thought of going to see animals from exotic locations living in suburban Scotland just doesn't seem right.

One day, however, I fear I will have to succumb and watch as my darling daughter is driven off to see the lions and tigers, or whatever else there is to see. It will be my other half who gets the pleasure of taking her. I won't actually go myself, no way. (I'm told that is unavoidable as well, but let me cling to the idea for a few months longer.)

I'm not completely against animals in captivity. Without the farms near our house, hours of enjoyment would have been replaced by hours of wondering how to occupy the inquiring mind of a 22-month-old girl. Yes, it is true to say there are groups who claim farming is unnecessary and that we don't need animals to survive. But I like bacon butties and roast beef too much to even consider that argument.

I have one request for the farmers of West Lothian: can you get your cows out of the barns and into the fields a bit earlier in the year? I spent much of March running the risk of being reported to the police by Farmwatch as the little voice from the back seat demanded, "Cows, look for, okay, go-go-go."

What this entailed was parking near a byre and pointing out the cows, driving off, receiving the demand for "more cows" and reversing back to the animals. This would be repeated any number of times until the words "osses, igs or sheeps" were blurted out.

These Lothian safaris can go on for hours but nearly always end with a rather new addition to the rural landscape of lowland Scotland, the llama – or "lammah". A couple of miles from where we live, the woolly South American animals are kept on a smallholding that has the added advantage of a few sheep to keep my little treasure astounded. With more llamas living just a few miles away, my daughter is growing up with the idea that they are as much a part of the Scottish landscape as the traditional cows and sheep.

And this is not the only exotic animal she sees on a regular basis – in fact, every time we pass some woods, she points and shouts, "Gruffalo, gruffalo!" I've never seen one myself but I will keep looking.