Could you be Carol Vorderman's replacement?

Published on Sunday 24 August 2008 20:19

IT WAS 1981 when Carol Vorderman's mother spotted an advert in her local Leeds newspaper calling for a woman with good mathematical skills to work as a presenter on a new television game show. She applied on behalf of her clever 21-year-old daughter – a graduate with a third-class degree in engineering from Cambridge – and the rest, as they say, is history. Or perhaps arithmetic.

The same dream is about to come true for another geeky goddess (or indeed god), 26 years after Countdown first graced our screens at the birth of Channel 4, in 1982. Vorderman's position has become vacant after she was reportedly given 48 hours to accept a 90 per cent cut to her 1.2m pay packet or resign, and the programme's makers are inviting applications for a new mathematician, who will replace Vorderman, now 47, when she leaves at the end of this year.

Previous television experience isn't necessary, but applicants should have "excellent numeric and literacy skills" and "charm and charisma to appeal to viewers".

Peter Gwyn, the executive producer of Countdown, says: "We're not so much looking for a presenter as someone who is very able when it comes to arithmetic. For successful applicants, there will be a standardised set of puzzles we'll ask them to solve.It's the way Carol started out – she had no television experience and responded to a newspaper ad, so we think it's a great way to find someone. We're completely open-minded about who will replace her. We've not made up our mind about gender, age or background, and while it won't be easy to fill Carol's shoes, we're looking for someone who can bring their own personality to the programme."

It will certainly take more than a talent for arithmetic to follow in Carol's footsteps.

Here is a woman who's been standing in front of the same whiteboard, wielding her Magic Marker and doing mind-boggling calculations in a tight pencil skirt, for 26 years. She's almost a national treasure: a pin-up for nerds across the country and a cult figure for students skiving off lectures. How do you equal that? Now that's a Countdown Conundrum. Allow us to offer a few suggestions.

The ability to keep your cool when a rude word is spelled by mistake

Picture the scene: a contestant asks for a vowel. Then a consonant. Then another consonant, please. Your eyes widen as you place the letters "A", "R" then "S" on the board. Trembling, you reach for another vowel, then exhale when you realise it's an "O" and scold yourself for your dirty mind. Vorderman seemed to rather enjoy naughty words, giggling on one show as she added the letter "F" to the already titter-inducing "POO".

Sex, sex and more sex appeal.

Look for "Carol Vorderman" on YouTube and the search engine reveals what words other users have searched for in association with her. Surprisingly, neither "vectors" nor "graphs" are anywhere near the top of the list, but "legs", "cleavage", "leather" and "boots" all feature prominently.

Starting out on Countdown as a frumpy bluestocking, Vorderman suddenly recognised her potentialand began sporting some eye-popping ensembles: leather skirts, killer heels, plunging tops and tight dresses. She has posed racily for men's magazines and turned up to film premieres in daring dresses. There is even a website devoted to "Worshipping that which is perfect, namely Carol Vorderman's bum". Prospective candidates should be willing to adopt a wardrobe which could have them mistaken for the wife of a mid-level Mafioso.

The ability to brush off lecherous comments with ease

The contestants on Countdown are an odd mix of brainy students, bored housewives and middle-aged bachelors who probably haven't seen a woman close up for years, let alone one of Carol's calibre. Like Vorderman, any prospective candidates will have to take innuendo such as "two from the top will do nicely" in their stride.

No qualms about advertising low-fat spread

Ah, the chink in Carol's armour. It seems she'll endorse anything, but has a particular soft spot for margarine. She was the face of Benecol, then Flora and has also lent her name – controversially – to the debt-consolidation firm First Plus.

And, of course, an excellent brain

Leather skirts and margarine aside, Vorderman has an IQ of 167 and is a member of Mensa. She can work out a complicated mathematical problem at speed while smiling nicely at the camera. In short, the woman's a genius. She'll take some beating.