Bill Jamieson: Alas poor Alistair, he might be toast despite this

Published on Monday 24 November 2008 21:19

TO buy, or not to buy: that is the question. Is this a toaster I see before me? It's a £39.95 Krupps Expert two-slicer, with the label "VAT slashed!"

Do I kick-start the economy and purchase? The VAT saving is 90p.

Enter Left, attractive shop assistant with silver tongue: "If you want to save the economy, sir, why not go for the Delonghi Iconn four-slice model, down from 68 to 59.95. It's a real bargain."

At that price, so it should be. The VAT saving is 1.50. If I buy this could I really save us from Japanese deflation and a lost decade? But if I wait a bit, it might be lower still in the January sales.

Enter Right, passer-by: "That's the paradox of thrift, mate."

But if I don't buy now and the pound slumps, the price could soar by the spring.

Assistant: "If you're looking to maximise your VAT saving, sir, why not go for the Dualit DCT3 conveyor belt toaster? The family will love it. At 799.95 you'll be Gordon Brown's best friend. The VAT saving is 20."

Mmm. That would certainly register in the John Lewis weekly sales figures. Might send the economy into inflationary overdrive.

Here's the toaster I'm after. It's a white Morphy Richards two-slicer, just the job at 12.99. But the VAT saving is a measly 33p. Is that really a buying trigger?

Voice of Darling: "Just buy the bloody toaster."

Mmmm. I suppose could buy it on easy terms on the in-store credit card with an APR of 32 per cent.

Assistant: "Can I wrap it for you, sir?"

Not today, thank you.

THE PRE-BUDGET REPORT: FULL COVERAGE