Best ways to leave your lover

Published on Tuesday 12 February 2008 18:56

1 SLIP OUT THE BACK, JACK

Jack McConnell loves Scotland – so much so that he became First Minister – but he now has another country in his life and will be leaving our shores in 2009 to take up the position of High Commissioner for Malawi. There are several other proud Scots who for love, work or money have left our beautiful land: Sir Sean Connery; Lord Irvine Laidlaw; Andrew Carnegie; Dr Livingstone; Robert Louis Stevenson; JM Barrie and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

2 MAKE A NEW PLAN, STAN:

Some of Paul Simon's contemporaries took his lyrics to heart and made new starts for their love lives when things didn't go to plan. Sir Paul McCartney enjoyed a long, happy marriage to Linda (a blonde vegetarian) and, following her death from cancer, married Heather Mills (a blonde vegan). Rod Stewart also likes the "out with the old – in with the new" method and often changes wives. First came Alana (a blonde model), then Rachel (a blonde model) and now Penny (a blonde model).

3 YOU DON'T NEED TO BE COY, ROY:

Robin Cook famously ended his marriage of 30 years via a phone call from the airport. He had been informed that his extra-marital affair was about to be exposed and that he had just 30 minutes to decide between the two women in his life – his wife, Margaret, and his lover, Gaynor. He chose divorce. Cook went on to marry Gaynor and lived happily with her until his sudden death in 2005.

4 HOP ON THE BUS, GUS:

JK Rowling moved to Scotland after breaking up with her first husband. She recently said finishing the phenomenal series of children's books was more painful than her divorce, and letting go of Harry Potter "has been the worst break-up of my life". The novels have sold more than 400 million copies – earning the author an estimated 275 million.

5 JUST DROP OFF THE KEY, LEE:

An easy way to end a relationship swiftly is to attend a partner-swapping party – drop your key in a bowl and leave your next partner to chance!