Best Irvine Welsh radge

Published on Tuesday 26 February 2008 18:34

Scary geezers, every one

1 FRANCIS BEGBIE (Trainspotting and Porno): An enthusiastic advocate of "the discipline ay the basebaw bat", young Frank's penchant for bullying, petty crime, constant swearing, mindless violence in general and – shockingly – pinching a reserved seat on a train, qualifies him as a classic Welshian character. "Beggars" finally gets his comeuppance of sorts at the end of Porno, as an innocent motorist succeeds where many other adversaries have failed.

2 BRUCE ROBERTSON (Filth): Lothian and Borders' most corrupt cop is on a downward spiral, fuelled by self-loathing, cocaine binges and bad heavy metal. He cruises the mean streets of Edinburgh in frenzied pursuit of his own pleasure, increasingly irritated as police work intrudes. The murder victim is black, so of no real consequence, but Robertson is no mere racist – he hates everyone.

3 DANNY SKINNER (The Bedroom Secrets Of The Master-Chefs): The environmental health officer and raging alcoholic Lothario has little time for the detested master-chefs, but even less for his work colleagues. Soon, the hapless Brian Kibby is the unwitting focus for all Skinner's pent-up fury at the state of the world. In a series of escalating blackly comic vignettes, his persecution of Kibby reaches unparalleled heights, before he, too, is the victim of an unexpected payback.

4 LARRY (The Acid House): A man so radge he is not even credited with a surname, the protagonist sizes up his gormless neighbour Johnny as a real "soft touch". He steals his bevvy, his wife, even his electricity. Larry's nutter credentials are validated by the fact that the dreaded Doyles – the scheme's radgest family – deem him worthy of grudging respect.

5 JOHN STRANG (Marabou Stork Nightmares): A role model for grumpy old men everywhere, the raving right-wing reactionary is patriarch of Muirhouse's most dysfunctional family. Often seen patrolling the scheme in his brown fur coat (concealing a shotgun with which he randomly threatens to shoot people), he is not amused when a joker paints "e" at the end of his surname on the front-door nameplate.