Analysis: Reconciling family life and earning a living is not an easy balance to strike

Published on Sunday 16 January 2011 18:44

Long working hours may not be the only reason for family breakdown, but they rank very high on the list, as this report from Demos suggests.

Whether it's because of career-advancement pressures within a well-paid profession, or simply the need to take on umpteen low-paid shifts to pay for nappies and rent at the end of each week, the end result is the same: increased risk of family breakdown because there simply isn't enough time to be a parent and a partner as well as a worker.

And if the parents do split up and one moves out of the family home, there is the added pressure of paying for two houses and extra childcare.

Reducing working hours might help, but, as this report suggests, there are far more fundamental issues involved in family breakdown.

It recommends increased training and support to parents at all stages, addressing the cause rather than just the symptoms.

Having children puts massive strains on a relationship, especially when at the baby and pre-school stage. Fathers and mothers need to know how to negotiate with each other at three in the morning when the baby is screaming, just as much as they need to know about changing nappies.

Families Need Fathers Scotland often hears from fathers who might be among those described in this report as "disengaged". The people who contact us don't want to be forced to walk away from their children. Some of these situations could be avoided in future if more people receive training and support as part of preparation for parenthood.

And for those who have decided that separation is the only answer, there is even more need of some help. Parenting Apart sessions should be available for everybody.

Provision of parental leave in the UK still falls far short of what is needed to make a real difference in those vital early years.

While Nick Clegg's proposal to make arrangements more flexible with emphasis on making sure fathers take up their entitlement is welcome, this will only succeed if both parents and employers receive sufficient financial assistance, especially in a period when everybody is worried about whether their job will be cut.

The sentiment is admirable, but without financial backing it will only move us forward a small amount at a time when other family support such as childcare provision is being restricted.

• Ian Maxwell is national development manager for Families Need Fathers Scotland