Ruth Walker: ‘I did what any finely tuned athlete would do in my place. I hit the shops’

It was the final week before the Rock ’n’ Roll half-marathon. Time to wind down the training, conserve energy, prepare mentally for the job in hand. Getting some early nights in. Making sure I had the right supplies for my power breakfast (bagel, peanut butter and banana, since you ask). Packing a bag with jelly babies, gels and lip balm. Vaseline (for chaffing prevention). Safety pins (for my race number). Double-checking the route. Planning my pace. Oh, and maybe buying myself some shiny new kit. Hey, might as well look the part. All the gear, no idea – as some less-well-turned-out competitors might sneer. They’re just jealous.

So I did what any finely tuned athlete would do in my place. I hit the shops. Question: do sportswear manufacturers really believe every woman wants to wear garish, nasty, violent pink? There’s so much of the stuff, it gives me a nosebleed. No matter, I found a nice grey vest, black shorts, grey anorak. It’s a kind of motivation. Some people have their mantras. Their pumping soundtracks. Their energy drinks. I have my kit. You feel good, you run good, said Jessica Ennis. Or something like that.

“What’s that?” demanded the Teenager. Less of a question, more of a statement, accompanied by that disdainful look she does so well. “It’s an anorak,” I smiled. “A runorak, if you like.” She didn’t like. Fashion fail. Still, from someone whose most strenuous activity is reaching across the room for the remote, it was kind of rich. I let it go. What does she know?

I got my last longish run in, an easy peasy seven miles, then, midweek, training hit the buffers. Big time. It was a bad day at work. One of those days that can only end one way – with alcohol. We went out. Just for one. We were still in the pub at midnight.

The result was that, when race day arrived, I wasn’t feeling my best. The sun was shining but, man, it was cold. Which left me with another fashion dilemma. Sunglasses? Fleece? They would almost definitely have to come off once I warmed up and I didn’t want any excess baggage. In the end, I made a substance-over-style decision. It had to be the bin bag. Warm, waterproof and disposable. OK, so it hasn’t been a fashion statement since Poly Styrene rocked the look in the 1970s, but in a practical battle with the runorak, it won hands down. And I decided against the Spex.

As for the race itself, it was a blast. Numerous water stops, energy drinks and gels meant there was no risk of dehydrating. The bands were brilliant. And a massive thank you has to go to all the people who came out to cheer, clap, wave banners and support the runners. It made a massive difference.

Past the finishing line there were bananas, drinks, cereal bars and Haribo. Haribo! What’s not to like? Get your entry in for next year.

Oh, you want to know my time? Two hours and a cheeky wee 50 seconds. I rock. n