Actor Simon Callow's moving tribute to mother and her struggle with Alzheimer's

Published on Monday 9 August 2010 15:38

THE actor Simon Callow has spoken movingly about his mother's battle with Alzheimer's disease and her struggle to remember her past.

Simon Callow in St John's Church, where he took part in the Festival of Spirituality and Peace: 'We all have to talk about our experiences,' he said. Picture: Jayne Emsley

Callow was moved to tears as he told an Edinburgh audience how his mother said she wondered if her life was of any value.

Speaking at the start of the Festival of Spirituality and Peace at St John's Church in the West End, the Shakespearean actor said his mother, Yvonne, who brought him up alone, had completely forgotten her working life as a conscientious and well respected company secretary.

He said that when she was told she had worked hard in her life, she replied: "You mean I was of some worth? I have been worried if I was someone of any value at all."

The actor and director said his mother was always a person of "considerable eccentricity". But about five years ago she had a "mental and physical collapse" from which she had never recovered.

Callow described the process of finding a home for her, and the way her capabilities and awareness of life began to dwindle away. "It's important to talk about it," he said. "We all have to talk about our experiences."

The actor said his mother's love of music, her appreciation of nature and her Catholic faith had all ceased to be important to her as the disease took hold.

"It is possible she is on some kind of journey towards some kind of re-evaluation of her life."

He said practically the only communication he now had with his mother, who is 91, was to ask her if she wants a cup of tea — which she always does.

"I have started to understand that the relationship with the person becomes about common humanity. I have been given this person, this member of the human race, to look after.

"The person in front of me bears so little relationship to my mother that I can't pretend it is filial what I am doing. It is just human.

"Although it is miserable, it is part of what it means to be human."

Nonetheless the actor said it was difficult not to feel guilty. "I feel that in the scheme of things I should be looking after my mother. One hundred years ago it would be accepted — within a family where all generations worked together."

Callow, who is in Edinburgh performing Shakespeare The Man from Stratford at Assembly Hall, praised the ground-breaking work being done on Alzheimer's disease by Professor Ian Deary of Edinburgh University.

And he said passages from King Lear were still among the most extraordinary descriptions of mental decay and old age ever written.

Donald Reid, director of the Festival of Spirituality and Peace, said that he was delighted Callow had agreed to take part in the festival, which is in its tenth year.

"I was very moved by it, because he was talking about an experience common to so many people, including myself — my mother has just been four weeks in a care home," he said.

"For a lot of people here it was very much part of their experience, and it makes you think about how society looks after elderly people."

Malcolm Goldsmith, author of the book In a Strange Land, said many in the audience had been moved by Callow's account. "I suspect there are many people here who are grateful to Simon Callow for being able to express so beautifully what they themselves are struggling with."