Celebrity Big Brother line up revealed

By LINDSEY JOHNSTONE
Published on 17/08/2012 13:08

The third Celebrity Big Brother of the past year is upon us, finding new and tanned ways to challenge the very parameters of language, valiantly stretching the word ‘celebrity’ beyond all previously accepted limits.

Beyoncé, Angelina Jolie, Tom Cruise, David Beckham and Madonna were once again unavailable, but luckily a page three model who sexted Vernon Kay, a man famed for cheating on Alesha Dixon and a journalist some had believed to be a figment of the Daily Mail’s imagination have stepped in.

The latest series kicked off on Channel 5 last night with 2.7 million viewers, down from 5.1 million this time last year, and 3.5 million in January. But if anyone can save the viewing figures it’s this lot:

Michael Harvey Jr

Former So Solid Crew member, formerly known simply as Harvey, Michael Harvey Jr is best known not for his pioneering work in the UK rap scene but for cheating on ex-wife Alesha Dixon with Javine Hylton, who is most famous for not getting into Girls Aloud.

Rhian Sugden

Glamour model, Page Three ‘stunna’ and DJ, the multi-talented Rhian Sugden’s most prominent work is still the series of sexts she sent to married TV presenter Vernon Kay.

Samantha Brick

Journalist/total babe Samantha Brick is best known for a heart-rending Daily Mail piece she wrote earlier this year on the perils of being beautiful, and the number of friends she had lost as a result. Speculation that she was in fact a troll (in the internet sense of the word) created by Daily Mail editors was somewhat dispelled when she entered the house last night.

Cheryl Fergison

Better known as Heather Trott, actress Cheryl Fergison left the cast of Eastenders earlier this year, after her (presumably rather thin-skulled) character was killed by a light blow to the head administered with a photo frame.

Coleen Nolan

Coleen Nolan, of Nolan Sisters fame, is now better known for her appearances on housweives’ current affairs programme of choice Loose Women, and has also appeared as a contestant on Dancing On Ice.

Danica Thrall

Danica Thrall was the 2006 Miss Derby.

Julian Clary

Actual famous person Julian Clary is a comedian known for his much-imitated camp style, which was a rarity in the mainstream UK comedy scene when his career began in the 1980s. His comment at the 1993 British Comedy Awards in which he compared the appearance of the set to Hampstead Heath and said that he had just been fisting then-Chancellor of the Exchequer Norman Lamont famously failed to make The Sun and the Daily Mail laugh, with both papers calling for him to be banned from television.

Julie Goodyear

Julie Goodyear served pints of bitter to the residents of Coronation Street during several stints as barmaid Bet Lynch between 1966 and 2003, and was awarded an MBE in 1996 for services to television (and leopard print).

Ashley McKenzie

Ashley McKenzie is an Olympic athlete who represented Team GB in judo at the London 2012 Olympics, and while one might see his involvement the following week in Celebrity Big Brother as a step down, clearly he does not.

Jasmine Lennard

Jasmine Lennard was a finalist on 2005 reality show Make Me A Supermodel (nope, us neither). She also appeared on Trust Me I’m a Holiday Rep, and auditioned for a role in Bond film Casino Royale, which she didn’t get.

Prince Lorenzo Borghese

Prince Lorenzo Borghese is a member of Italian noble family the House of Borghese, but clearly relishes an opportunity to get down with the commoners, having also previously appeared on US reality show The Bachelor. His ancestors, who include Agostino (1390–1462), a count of the Holy Roman Empire; Pietro (1469–1527), who was named a senator of Rome by Pope Leo X; and Marcantonio (1504–1574), a politician and lawyer in papal service, would be so proud.

Martin Kemp

Spandau Ballet bassist and Eastenders bad guy Steve Owen are two of Martin Kemp’s previous incarnations. Perhaps the royalties from the repeated use of the Ballet’s 1983 hit Gold during the BBC’s London 2012 Olympics haven’t started rolling in yet.

Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino

Star of MTV “reality” show Jersey Shore, The Situation earned more than £3.2 million last year, making him the second-highest earning US reality star after Kim Kardashian. The Situation is fond of referring to himself in the third peson, and has been paid by US brand Abercrombie & Fitch not to wear their clothes.