Ham-azing grace: 30 years at the top, Miss Piggy has grown used to a life of fame

By Siobhan Synnot
Published on Thursday 2 February 2012 00:00

MISS PIGGY, a porcine pin-up for more than 30 years, is back on the big screen at last. Trotting towards The Scotsman a mere half-hour late, she’s every bit as glamorous as her publicity shots suggest, and as lithe as when she performed her pas de deux with Rudolf Nureyev in Swine Lake.

Pausing only to karate chop a careless remark about ham actors, she opened her heart to us about fame, her power-couple relationship with Kermit the Frog, and of course her other special relationship – Scotland.

Q: It’s been a while since we saw you onscreen – have you been trying to avoid hogging the limelight?

A: Oh, not at all! I may not have been on the big screen at your local cinema, but I’ve been absolutely everywhere else. Not only have I made regular (and slightly irregular) television appearances and written a book (The Diva Code), but I also starred in that award winning internationally celebrated internet viral video Muppets Bohemian Rhapsody! (tinyurl.com/mupboho) So, as vous see, the fault is not in moi staying out of the limelight, but in you not paying attention!

Q: Are you prepared for your life to change when this movie comes out?

A: Not really. I’ve already achieved a ridiculously high level of international celebritude. Being recognised, coveted, fêted and otherwise worshipped is something I’ve grown used to… and wouldn’t live without.

Q: Many of us regard your best-seller Miss Piggy’s Guide To Life as a bible capable of making strong, independent women weep. But do you have issues of your own that you still struggle with?

A: Well, thank vous! That was a fabulous book – as is my more recent hit tome, The Diva Code. Now where were we before I got sidetracked by dropping in another plug for my book? Oh yes, what issues do I struggle with? Well, I must admit it is tough to find a reliable dry cleaner, but other than that I’ve pretty much got all my other problems solved.

Q: Can you update us on your relationship with Kermit? You’ve been together longer than Angelina and Brad, or Goldie and Kurt. Is there any chance of Kermit finally taking you up the aisle?

A: Kermie and moi are forever and timelessly in love. In fact, we’ve not only been together longer than Goldie and Kurt, we also hold the record for longest running interspecies relationship in Hollywood. As for “the aisle,” my which I assume you mean marriage and not the supermarket: the frog and I are already married in our hearts. (I’m still working on the rest of him).

Q: Is it sometimes hard for you two to work together and maintain your close relationship? Is it difficult to stay faithful in an industry that’s notorious for its temptations?

A: What you see on the screen is who we are in real life: playful, talented, gorgeous hopelessly in love with each other. The only difference between our offscreen and onscreen personas is that, in private life, we require less lighting and special effects. To tell you the truth, our work in front of the cameras is effortless – although that is not to say we don’t both deserve major awards for it. Maintaining closeness is no problem, and since we’re so close, there’s no danger of temptation. In other words: I don’t let anyone cute near the frog.

Q: It was fantastic to see you on the cover of Vogue recently – and yet some of our greatest actresses have thought about tweaking their looks. How do you feel about plastic surgery?

A: Moi is a strong believer that you should do whatever it takes to achieve the very best looking you. For some, this means a little nip and tuck. For moi, it means “the works”: Botox, lifts, caulking, re-grouting – you name it. If it’s going to make moi look even a teensy bit more fabulous, let’s go for it because my public deserves the very best me. And I deserve to be surprised every time I look in the mirror.

Q: There’s been some discussion as to whether this new Muppet movie sticks to the spirit of The Muppets. How do you feel about that?

A: When one is going to see a “Muppet” movie – or any movie for that matter – one must ask: Is Miss Piggy in it? If the answer is “yes,” then obviously you are in for a cinematic treat. If the answer is “no,” then why bother going? Suffice to say: I’m in it, so you’ll love it.

Q: Were you surprised the script had you working at Vogue Paris as plus-sized editor?

A: Not at all! It’s very appropriate considering my legendary work as a supermodel and how I’ve become an inspiration and muse for so many of the world’s greatest designers. As for being the “plus-sized” editor: moi believes that style comes in all sized, and therefore the bigger you are the more style you have. So there!

Q: OK, we could really use some of your style tips. Louboutins or flip-flops?

A: Louboutins! My close personal friend Christian Louboutin designed some footwear for moi recently and, I must say, the man really know his shoes. Très chic!

Q: How about music taste: Lady Gaga or Madonna?

A: I admire both Lady Gaga and Madonna’s singing, showmanship, wardrobe choices and most especially those gorgeous male back-up dancers. Both ladies are dear friends and protégées, so it would be unfair to choose one over the other.

Q: Why are there so many songs about rainbows?

A: You’d have to ask Kermit about that; I’m more interested in what’s at the end of the rainbow.

Q: Have you ever visited Scotland? We are famous for chips, whisky and making men get married in tartan skirts.

A: Of course I’ve visited Scotland! It’s like a second home to moi! Well, actually, a fifth or sixth home – as you know we celebrities have pied à terres all over the place. I’ve slept overnight in a Scottish castle, and been to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival several times. When you work with as many “fringe” characters as I do, there’s no avoiding it. As for French fries – I’ve never understood why they aren’t called “Scottish fries”, and while I never touch strong drink, I can understand why the chill in the air would require you to tipple a tad. Lastly, I love a man in kilts, but my frog usually walks around naked, so I’m not going to force him into anything.

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