Book review: Beat the Bitch, by Tess Stimson

Published on Saturday 13 June 2009 13:38

BEAT THE BITCH Tess Stimson Macmillan, £11.99 Review: KAYT TURNER

ANY book subtitled "How to stop the other woman stealing your man" is bound to raise the hackles on a sizeable proportion of the female population. Tess Stimson claims that three in four men have cheated or will cheat on their partners. As both the cheated and the cheater (her first husband may well have left his second wife for her – but he then left her for his fourth), she claims to be able to show you the signs that Your Man has/is about to/is even thinking of straying.

The first few chapters don't exactly help Stimson's cause. Headings such as "Oral!, Oral!, Oral!" (which is exactly what you think it is) are enough to make you dismiss the book as yet another attempt to make women feel guilty for all men's sins.

And yet, if you wade through this, Stimson has some reasonable things to say. When she says marriage is hard work, she's not talking dusting and hoovering. How can both partners feel valued in their relationship in a society which expects women to do little but bitch about their menfolk. We may well moan that our partners aren't romantic enough – but when was the last time that you did something romantic for him? Despite authoring a book which claims to tell you what to do, she's at pains to point out that whatever you do is entirely your decision. You can stay and fight or you can work out how to get rid of him.

Stimson's playing the effective role of your best friend. Not the best friend who goes out and gets drunk with you and agrees fervently that All Men Are Bastards. No, this is the friend who says, some men might be – are you sure that yours is? And, if you are absolutely certain, what precisely do you want to do about it?

There are chapters on revenge and sexual tricks to keep Him happy (I confess that I had to get out an Action Man, a Barbie doll, several feet of gardening twine and a couple of paperclips to fully understand one of them), and there's some great practical financial advice if you're going to be left with nothing the second he leaves.

This book may well have an effect on Your Man… just catching a glimpse of it in your bag may be enough to do the trick. If not, there's always Chapter 12 – 'Don't Get Mad, Get Diamonds'.