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"FREEZE. All together... right arm bend, right arm bend. Left arm bend, left arm bend. Dance like you want to. Bow, arrow, bow, arrow. Left snap snap. Right snap snap. Bow, arrow, bow, arrow. Right snap snap. Left snap snap. Reach for the sky. Reach for the sky. Then repeat, ending with right arm saluting the sky."
NOKS! I've a wallet full of them. From what I hear, I'll need all my Norwegian kroner for my day trip to Oslo for the final of the 2010 Eurovision Song Contest – apparently, a pint in the Norwegian capital costs a sobering £8.
HARD to believe maybe, but with the Edinburgh Festival Fringe still more than 12 weeks away the Capital has been buzzing with London PRs all keen to push their 2010 clients and secure as many column inches as possible.
IDENTITY is about under-standing history. Ask any Leither. So the decision to launch this year's Leith Festival programme from an Edinburgh venue – the Arts Complex in St Margaret's House on London Road – has left me bemused.
IT was the late Pat Quinn, musician, author, Evening News jazz critic and all round good guy who finally got me hooked on laid-back, lazy nights spent listening to the likes of Niki Haris (one-time Madonna backing singer and vocalist on Snap's chart-topping dance track Exterminate) effortlessly working their way through the jazz standards in smoke-filled basement bars.
DINNERLADIES at The King's this week, Porridge next – classic TV sitcoms have never appeared so popular.
DR STEPHEN DUNBAR is no ordinary physician. He first appeared in Ken McClure's 1998 novel Donor (a new paperback edition of which is published on 1 May) and later this year will embark upon a new investigation. But more of that later.
UPTURNED boat hulls – architect Enric Miralles' vision for the Scottish Parliament boasts a nautical theme, but for every individual who hails his design as cutting edge, there's another crying 'blot on the landscape.'
PATRICK STEWART engaged as Vladimir. Sir Ian McKellen cast his spell as Estragon. Godot failed to turn up. But then, that was a given.
SHE slipped away quietly and quickly after a brave battle with cancer. The end of an era.
"WAR. What is it good for?" asked Edwin Star. "Absolutely nothing". Unless, it appears, you are a theatre producer.
"WARNING: This account contains transcripts of the calls which include language that some readers may find offensive."
Last week, I finally boarded Concorde. Indeed, not only did I get to tour one of the most famous aircraft in history, I even sat in seat A1 –normally reserved for the Queen.
CECIL BUCKLAND won his first big break in the film The Blue Lamp. Never heard of him? Today, the 82-year-old is better known as the STV institution loved by generations, Glen Michael. But as his new autobiography reveals, there's more to this sprightly octogenarian than his famous Cartoon Cavalcade.
LIKE Deborah Harry of Blondie before her, Natalie Horler is today better known by the name of her group, Cascada, possibly the biggest dance act in the world.
THERE was a moment, during a tour of the Edinburgh Playhouse a few years ago, that I was filled with a feeling of dread. We were talking about the theatre's ghost at the time, when all of a sudden, the air turned icy. Spooky.
IF you ever get the chance, pop around to the stage door of any theatre after a performance and watch the autograph hunters. Not the fans who want their programmes signed, but the professional collectors who come armed with dozens of pictures, books and old newspaper cuttings.
IT started with a month's supply of M&Ms, a miniature of Whyte and Mackay Special Double Marriage Blend and a jar of crab paste. That was at the beginning of August and now I'm hooked.