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Harry Potter and the order of the Harman

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Published Date: 08 March 2009
By Nicholas Christian
HARRY Potter was looking glum. With a sigh, he picked up his trusty magic wand and muttered: "Magic is one thing, but this will take a miracle."


Hermione Granger bounded into the Hogwarts common room. "Why the long face, Harry?" she chirruped, in her annoying, jolly-hockey-sticks accent.

"Well," said Harry, pausing to take a kick at a passing house elf, "JK Rowling has been asked for help by the Labour party. They want her to levitate its popularity in the opinion polls."

"Goodness!" said Hermione.

"There's nothing good about it," said Harry. "Apparently the deputy leader – a fierce-looking woman called Harriet Harman – yesterday asked JK to make a keynote speech at the Labour conference in the autumn."

"I thought JK had already done her bit," said Hermione. "Didn't she make a £1m donation last October because she's a friend of Sarah Brown?"

"Aren't you clever," said Harry, in an unpleasantly sarcastic tone that was rarely to be found in the books. "It's only a matter of time before we're roped into this."

"You mean, political product placement in the books and movies? Eek! With Hagrid coming out with turgid critiques of George Osborne's fiscal irresponsibility? Harry? Where are you going?"

"Bugger this. I'm going to feed myself to the basilisk in the basement..."




Page 1 of 1

  • Last Updated: 08 March 2009 12:54 AM
  • Source: Scotland On Sunday
  • Location: Scotland
 
1

Edward,

08/03/2009 01:07:23
J K Rowling can give who ever she wants to her money, but she really needs a reality check and understand better just how much Scotland, her host country for all these years has been taken for a ride by Labour
2

Arthur G,

Glasgow 08/03/2009 01:25:49
JK Rowling writes very popular books and has made a fortune in doing so. She is also entitled to donate her money to whom and to whichever cause she sees fit. It does not mean her views on politics or anything else for that matter is any more valid than Joe or Josephine Soap's.

To me this is like when the West of Scotland Labour Establishment loving newspaper, The Herald, rolls out 'World Class' composer Jame McMillan and allows him to spout his, Pro Roman Catholic and bitter-twisted anti-Presbyterian bile in the guise of promoting ecumenical harmony. It does not seem to occur to, or is purposely ignored by The Herald, because it does not suit that paper's agenda, that, whereas Mr McMillan may well be a musical genius, his opinions on religious matters are invalid due to his own obssessive religious intolerance.

There is an old saw that states that: "genius is close to madness". I am prepared to conced that Mr McMillan is a musical genius..."
3

For Scotlands Future,

Vote for the SNP 08/03/2009 05:02:40
Does this mean B U G G E R is an acceptable word for these posts?? Or is The Hootsman exercising their Labour Party connections: "Do as I say, not as I do".
4

Samcafe,

Glasgow 08/03/2009 05:30:49
And the award for off at a tangent moaning goes to Arthur G, who seriously needs to calm down and get a life.
5

C. Haynes,

Boise 08/03/2009 06:42:57
Haggis and tatties
6

Ham Mei Si,

Hong Kong 08/03/2009 06:53:50
I wonder what you silly people are talking about?
Scotland, her host country for all these years has been taken for a ride by Labour.
I thought it was all you bongo-heads that happily voted Labour in!
7

Tweedmouth,

Coldstream 08/03/2009 08:23:02
#1 Edward

"she really needs a reality check (to) understand better how much Scotland, her host country for all these years"

"Host country?"

using the words 'host country' in respect of a UK-born citizen has chosen to make Scotland her home for 20 years or more gives us an insight into the nasty little world that racist Natinalists inhabit.

There is only one State in these islands and it is the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland - that's not opinion, its fact. Only one State offers citizenship and passports - and that is the UK Crown.

Rowling may be a second-rate, derivative author, but she has a right to live anywhere she wishes in these islands without asking permission of racist bigots living out their 13th Century fantasies. People born in England, Northern Ireland and Wales have as much right to live anywhere in Scotland, as much as a Scots-born person has a right to live anywhere in England or Wales etc. However much you may dislike it, the UK is a unitary state with unitary boundaries.
8

Joe Macdelta.,

08/03/2009 09:01:49
This will not make any difference to how I vote, I couldnt give a rats backside who speaks at the Labour conference, they are a spent force and should just surrender.
9

,

08/03/2009 09:34:14
Comment Removed By Administrator
Reason:
10

Johnnyf,

Scotland 08/03/2009 10:51:43
Oh dear, just another Sunday morning full of bigoted and crunchingly uninformed comment from the new tory supporters or as in some cases, is it neo nazi supporters? I take it some of you are old enough to remember living under Thatcher's "party of law and order", yeah then Scotland was made to pay. Well enjoy your bunch of Eton "Hooray Henries" when you vote them in, I'm off.
11

Xhile,

Downthere 08/03/2009 10:59:04
J K Rowling is very, very rich.
She has donated one million pounds to the Labour Party and has publically expressed her support for Gordon and his goons.
I can think of only one reason for this.......

Arise Dame Rowling of Cloud Cuckoo Land.
12

Americanbob,

08/03/2009 11:14:48
Is this what the Labour party has come to, taking money from jakeys and allowing them to speak at their conferences. Next thing they'll be opposing the increase in alcohol prices!
13

Johnnyf,

Scotland 08/03/2009 11:24:52
#12 A bit slanderous, I would perceive. I hope Ms Rowling's solicitor reads this.
Why is it that supporters of right wing politics always revert to name calling when you really don't have an answer.
14

Dk,

Broxburn 08/03/2009 11:33:48
#10
Johnnyf re-read your own email if that is not bigoted I dont know what is
15

Andy McH,

08/03/2009 11:34:17
Tweedmouth says:"There is only one State in these islands and it is the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland - that's not opinion, its fact. Only one State offers citizenship and passports - and that is the UK Crown."

Your ignorance is astounding!
Have you never heard of the Republic of Ireland?
16

Johnnyf,

Scotland 08/03/2009 11:46:02
#14 DK, No, I'm sorry your reasoning mechanism totally escapes me.
17

Campaign Lawer,

Elgin 08/03/2009 11:49:10
I hope the Labour Party are going to nationalise JK. After all she was living off the State while she was writing her books.
Why does the Government only nationalise companies which are Broken & Bust.
I can't think of a single company where the Government has poured money in and it has been a sucess. British Steel, British Leyland, National Coal Board, Upper Clyde Shipbuilding & finally Civil Servants.
A £1M donation to the Labour Party seems a bit of an insult to the taxpayer.
18

Johnnyf,

Scotland 08/03/2009 11:54:47
Bigoted :-DISAPPROVING - a person who has strong, unreasonable beliefs and who thinks that anyone who does not have the same beliefs is wrong.
I don't think I have made any unreasonable statements, unlike many other comments here, you are unable to tell, what colour, race, religion or political persuasion I am other than I will not be voting for Dave as PM. I may be a true centre of the party Tory who is not in favour of the leadership.
19

John M. Slusser II,

Nantwich 08/03/2009 12:17:13
People, people, people! A little civility - we cannot all beat our drum and expect to be heard let alone lauded. There are 2 rules when dealing with people: 1) people are their own worst enemy, and 2) give them enough rope and they will hang themselves. Pretty simple really, whether popular fiction writers are helping a political party, or anything else. Lets have another cuppa and relax...
20

SandyBottoms,

Edinburgh 08/03/2009 12:37:47
JK Rowling = SELLOUT
21

Tris,

08/03/2009 12:48:14
#7. Do you know anything about geography?

"These islands" include The Isle of Man, and the Channel Islands, not to mention the Republic of Ireland.

You're right, of course, in that people who are citizens (or in our case only subjects) in any European Union country have the right to live in any other European Union country.

But actually, within "these islands" (unless I am mistaken) we don't have automatic rights to live in the Channel Islands.

#9 Couldn't agree more.

Anyway, all this celebrity endorsement is meant to impress people who can't be bothered to think for themsleves.

"Oh" they say, "J K Rowling votes Labour, so, so will I". The same, of course, is true of Sean Connery and the SNP or, indeed, Cilla Black and the Tories.

I prefer to think about the policies offered and make my judgement on that basis, rather than what some 'celebrity', who necessarily lives in an entirely different world from mine, thinks.

Just a thought though, there's always some irony in these things. Sean lives abroad but supports SNP; Cilla made her fortune by being seriously working class, but supports the Tories, and JK Rowling (does she have a first name?) is a multi-millionaire and supports Labour.

Does anyone support the Liberals?
22

nick prince,

warrington 08/03/2009 13:05:41
but she is very good looking, if a bit smug, we are daily impacted by the words and deeds of opinion formers, most of whom have ugly, disgusting faces that should never be reproduced in any media save for journals on cosmetic surgery and late night horror films, at least she is good looking, I will be voting labour at the next election if the labour party can guarantee me an all star celebrity cabinet that can maintain strength and depth in the beauty department. It would be a victory for common sense in these straitened times.
23

jkr,

Lochwinnoch Greater Glasgow. 08/03/2009 13:21:12
Harry Potter books and films are great. Real fantasy world stories. The Labour Party is living in this fantasy world. Perhaps JKR[not me!!] would feel quite at home at a Labour conference. However I hope it would bring her back to the real world and see the damage the party she appears to support is doing to the country.
24

Tartan Viking,

08/03/2009 13:27:07
Quite apt this.

The Lyebour Party talk a lot of Hogwash.
25

Johnnyf,

Scotland 08/03/2009 13:29:36
#20 How has she sold out? You can't sell out by supporting something she believes in. At least she puts her money where her mouth is unlike Connery who pays no taxes in the UK and has the audacity to tell us to vote SNP.
26

Florence,

Edinburgh 08/03/2009 13:55:39
25 JOHNNY: Oh yes he does!
27

Mikko,

Drumnadrochit 08/03/2009 14:00:06
Little books for little intellects.
28

Finlang,

Hong Kong 08/03/2009 14:48:11
#7 Tweedmouth,Coldstream

Whatever the alleged ins-and-outs of this report are all about (and I'm mildly baffled) your "Host country" apoplectic para (and "racist Natinalists [sic]) is a tad skewed:

"using the words 'host country' in respect of a UK-born citizen has chosen to make Scotland her home for 20 years or more gives us an insight into the nasty little world that racist Natinalists inhabit."

OK. Try this and see if it props up your argument. Divorcing my English wife in England in 1998, I (Scots-born) was up against an English public-school establishment of solicitors and judge, which in its preamble, nastily described my status as "domiciled". That, after some 30 years residence and economic contribution to the English economy. Set that piece of "racism" against the status of my Germany-born wife of English parents, whose early education was in Singapore, and tell me how it stands up.

#2 Arthur G,Glasgow

Your comments on James MacMillan are straight and to the point. Genius? Nah. He is a very good and interesting composer. (I'm a classically trained musician and my ears are open to all composers.) MacMillan, however, sours his composer status, by running his one-track religious agenda at every opportunity. His compositions are heavily laden with programmatic RC religious overtones. Sad really. He has no need to do this. His musical talent is indisputable. His music alone should do the speaking sans hidden agenda..

29

Finlang,

Hong Kong 08/03/2009 15:02:39
omission from penultimate para above ...

Set that piece of "racism" against the status of my Germany-born wife of English parents, whose early education was in Singapore, and tell me how it stands. She was described as "resident" in our shared home(s) in England, and I as "domiciled". Work that one out, brains, and inform me that I was being treated equally.
30

TREV,

Poland 08/03/2009 15:12:59
Rowling can give her money to whom she pleases. She already donates to a number of charities and has enriched the treasury a bit by not going of to live in a tax-friendly country (like shum othersh I could menshun). As well as this, insisting on British actors for the films of her books has also meant the treasury can grab a few sponds from them too.

Just on the question of "only one state"... then how come when I married a Polish national I had to get my wedding licence from (and vrified in) Scotland (where I was living) and my birth certificate and other documents verified in England?
31

Finlang,

Hong Kong 08/03/2009 15:27:53
#30 TREV,Poland

You're absolutely right. JKR can indeed give her money
to whomsoever she pleases - without prejudice.

On the question of "only one state", let's see if Our Learned Friend #7 has all the legal answers. For some on these columns, it's a way of life to spout bile, but at least before doing so, they ought to have the facts at their fingertips.
32

Mikko,

Drumnadrochit 08/03/2009 15:58:25
Let's all face it: Rowling's books are just so much junk. Adults who read them should feel ashamed. Children don't know any better but it sure isn't helping their education.
33

Dougie Welsh,

Halifax 08/03/2009 16:21:20
1. Nationalism is not necessarily racist. I know black Scots and Brown Scots and Yellow Scots in addition to a whole bunch of pink Scots. Pride in nation is not necessarily racist. Let's not try to MAKE it so.

2. Rowling is entitled to parcel out her money as she wishes, and if Labour gets more of it than the SNP, it only means the SNP needs to work harder to bring her "on side". Turn that microscope around and look at yerselves.

3. "Second rate derivative author"? Can you actually read? Have you ever actually read her work? Rowling may not be Tacitus or Caesar, but, we're not Romans of 2000 years back. She is writing for today, to be read by today's children AND adults and she's done a bloody marvellous job of it, as any moron can tell from looking at two things - "a." the number of people who have read her books, and "b." the number of people who bitch about her success. Fortunately, the "a." crowd is growing and the "b." crowd is shrinking.
34

,

08/03/2009 16:59:47
Comment Removed By Administrator
Reason:
35

,

08/03/2009 20:20:05
Comment Removed By Administrator
Reason:
36

Tris,

08/03/2009 21:55:26
I see Harry had to get a translator at the conference in Dundee in a question and answer session.
37

Charlie Ferrier,

Hamilton 08/03/2009 23:08:15
i wonder if the people commenting here would accept an equal amount of idots commenting on their decisions, if they had an opportunity to publicly endorse a party of their choosing.

Clearly anyone equally famous such as Sean Connery endorsing the SNP must be equally as critisizeable as JK Rowling is.

if only small minded people could be prevented from taking part in real debate.
38

Trade-wind,

USA 10/03/2009 02:06:21
My only thought is, would they have invited her to speak if she had never written HP.
They only want her for her wealth not her wisdom. She is a citizen and she has thoughts and beliefs, but that is all she is no matter how much wealth she has aquired. She has an excellent imagination and it would seem they need all of that they can muster. Her delving into the mystical may come in handy as this economy disintegrates and they need a wand to magically fix things. Or, they may have to call on Snapes abilities to cheat death.
Either way she won't be of much help until
the bills are due. In closing let me say that you take all this to seriously. You are just as powerful as she, just not as well healed.

 

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