BE careful what you wish for, goes the old proverb. After all, you might get it.
MANY years ago I used to work in a library. Now that you've stopped laughing I'll continue. It wasn't just any library, it was THE library, the numero uno of book depositories, the largest in the nation . . . the National Library of Scotland on George IV Bridge. Let's face it, if you're going to hand out books for a living you might as well aim for the top.
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lISTENING to Radio 5 Live the other morning, the dulcet Edinburgh tones of Nicky Campbell were waxing lyrical about his home town until he was interrupted by his co-presenter who claimed that while Edinburgh may look beautiful it was "absolutely filthy".
TODAY our elected representatives meet at the City Chambers to decide, once and for all, whether the city's tram will ever run.
Given the ongoing saga of the trams, it's hard to believe that it was six years ago that Edinburgh residents voted on whether or not they wanted the introduction of a congestion charge.
FOUR years ago this newspaper carried a report about teenage vandals who caused £23,000 worth of damage at a block of flats in Niddrie House Square. The youngsters in question had done this apparently because they were "bored".
ELSIE Inglis is one of those heroines, the memory of whom allows Edinburgh residents to puff out their chests a little bit.
I QUITE like birds. There's always a little frisson of festive excitement when a robin makes his appearance in the winter, his bright red chest the only spot of colour in the garden. It's also quite fascinating to watch the sparrows which live in next door's tree do daily battle against an amber-beaked blackbird desperate to take over their territory.
EDINBURGH is nothing if not beautiful. It can be easy to forget that in the midst of the daily routine - and the constant tearing up of the city's streets for a tram which might never run.
IT'S been a week since election day, and while it's been said that seven days is a rather long time in politics, it will no doubt have flown by for the newly elected MSPs.
NOT sure I can take any more of the fawning and fulsomeness. It's even got to the stage where I'm agreeing with Morrissey - something which hasn't happened since it was the done thing to wallow in his Mancunian misery during the 1980s.
I HAVE yet to meet Sue Bruce, chief executive of the city council, and while I'm sure she's a good person with a strong desire to put the authority on a sound financial footing and work towards making Edinburgh a better place, I do wonder whether she ever ponders the ridiculous nature of her engagement.
IT'S hard to believe that next month's election is, according to opinion polls, likely to be as close-run as the last time the electorate voted for their representatives in Holyrood.
GAGS, as most politicians know from bitter experience, are best left to the comics of the world.
IT started three years ago with the closures debacle and the doubts over refurbishments and replacements of five city schools. Hot on the heels of that was the scrapping of the hugely successful school holiday schemes GO4IT and Play4it, and the shutting of creche facilities in Edinburgh Leisure sport centres.
ANY driver who has ever been cut up by a black cab - and by that I mean anyone who has ever ventured on to Edinburgh's roads in any kind of vehicle other than a taxi - will have experienced that shot of intense anger that surges through the veins, as you helplessly watch it speed off, leaving you only able to shout unprintables into your own dashboard.
THE first birthday party I can remember my parents organising for me was at the Portobello trampoline centre, and thanks to a mixture of cake, jelly, ice cream and enthusiastic bouncing, it all ended, unsurprisingly, in a pile of vomit. Brilliant by any seven-year-old's standards.
LAST Friday I met a small group of ordinary women.
EDINBURGH, for all its beauty, grandeur and historical interest, is not really a glamorous place.
ARE you feeling angry yet? Are the statistics on joblessness, collapsing businesses, frozen wages, the slashing of council and community services getting you hot under the collar?
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Weather for Edinburgh
Tuesday 21 May 2013
Temperature: 7 C to 17 C
Wind Speed: 13 mph
Wind direction: North west
Temperature: 3 C to 12 C
Wind Speed: 23 mph
Wind direction: West