FORGET business breakfasts, power lunches and deal-making five course dinners. They're so last year, darling. This year's must-have meal is the chi-chi, bite-sized and relatively wallet-friendly afternoon tea.
Cucumber sandwiches, strawberry cupcakes and tiny bone china cups of darjeeling have never been so hip, and trendy young things are all stopping for tea at Scotland's style bars and glamorous watering holes.
Harvey Nichols is right in there on tr
end serving up elegant little cakes and quality teas to trendy young shoppers happy to sit on the terrace, sipping champagne and quaffing cupcakes.
"It's a very popular activity, especially now that the summer's here. It used to be the older generation that would come for afternoon tea but we added a more contemporary twist with champagne and we have seen the younger clientele getting involved," says restaurant and brasserie manager Ross McGregor.
"Because we have a terrace with one of the best views of the city, there's nothing better than spending two or three hours in the afternoon, enjoying tea," he says.
Put it down to the Sex and the City effect when Carrie and the gang kickstarted the rage for cupcakes, the passion for pastries shows no signs of abating among the beautiful people and those who aspire to be like them.
When Stella McCartney wants to launch her latest collection, it's cupcakes and champagne, macaroons and meringues all round. A tea party-cum-trunk show to launch this year's spring/summer collection saw size zero models cramming in the cupcakes and still managing to slip into McCartney's figure-hugging silk playsuits. Meanwhile, in magazine land, Condé Nast held a Mad Hatters party to launched its new Love magazine, with Agyness Deyn, Alexander McQueen and Kelly Brook all joining those knocking back gin served in tea cups and at this year's annual Bafta party in LA, the theme at the Beverly Hills Hotel was "British Tea Party", with Dev Patel and Freida Pinto tucking into tiny finger-sized sandwiches.
However, you don't need to be a celeb to enjoy afternoon tea, which has always been a hit with traditionally sweet-toothed Scots. The contemporising flute of champagne merely makes the practice all the more attractive.
In Edinburgh, the reason polite hostesses have long asserted "you'll have had your tea" is surely down to the citizens of the capital's habit of nipping in to sample the delightful afternoon teas long served up at the likes of the Balmoral and Caledonian Hotel. But the whole ritual is undergoing a revival and it was this surge in popularity that saw Rogano in Glasgow introducing afternoon tea to its menu.
"It's become trendy again. In London it's extremely busy during afternoon tea time so we thought we would try to do it too and invested in the stands and tiny white bone china plates," says manager Ian Smith. "We serve cucumber sandwiches, éclairs, scones and cream and the chef's special strawberry tart. It suits our old-fashioned, art deco style too. It's been going a year and a half and it's working extremely well.
"It's popular with business meetings, for hen nights as an alternative to raucous events, family occasions, tea with mum and gran. It used to be a luxury and a bit special but today it's something that fits nicely into an afternoon, add a glass of champagne and it's a wee bit of decadence," says Smith.
Celebrity customers at Rogano include Rod Stewart, but since his visits are usually pre-football with the lads, he goes for a more macho scallops and black pudding or cod and chips. "He's not had afternoon tea yet, but the girls from River City have," says Smith.
What more could you ask? The team from the Shieldinch Oyster Café, Glasgow's other leading example of art deco chic, giving your afternoon tea the once over.
Up in Edinburgh's douce Morningside, deep into afternoon tea territory is Loopy Lorna's, where the portions are heartier and the décor quirkier. With vintage mismatched tableware, Doris Day pinnies on the staff and a cake and candy stall home baking vibe, there are more cupcakes on display than on a Women's Institute calendar. Huge teapots it takes two hands to lift are brimful of a huge variety of loose teas – lapsang, earl grey and any number of fruity, spicy varieties served in floral china cups. Loopy Lorna's version of traditional afternoon tea includes dainty sandwiches, handmade scones with cream and a choice of cakes ranging from a chocolate slab heaving with Maltesers and stuffed with mousse to the traditional Victoria sponge. And if you want, you can bring along a bottle of champagne, with no corkage charge.
"We have been busy since we opened in October and it's been pretty constant since then," says owner Gaynor Salisbury, who named the café after her mother, a tea and home baking aficionado. "It's a real mix of customers; young professionals, a lot of families, mums and babies and retired regulars that come in," she says.
The breakup of her marriage and loss of her job prompted Salisbury to realise a life-long dream of opening up a tea room and reviving home baking, despite the recession.
"The timing is actually very good because afternoon tea has become very popular. People tell us they are tired of Starbucks and Costa with their big cardboard buckets of coffee and muffins in cellophane. My customers ask why our cakes taste so good and it's because they're home-made by our chefs every day with fresh ingredients. This is what cakes are supposed to taste like," she says.
Head chef Michelle Phillips was Scottish Casual Dining Chef of the Year 2000 and landed the job at Loopy Lorna's by turning up at the interview with a trio of mouthwatering samples, including a fruit tart that is now a staple of the afternoon tea menu.
"It was very important to me that the chefs have a grasp of home baking rather than patisserie style. I wanted to recreate the kind of traditional baking you get on cake stalls, brownie sales and school fayres, served in a quirky setting. So I asked the chefs I was interviewing to bring samples of Victoria sponge, scones and a cake that would wow customers," she says.
"We're tired of everything being standardised and having nothing to do with community, of big companies coming in and small places being put out of business," says Salisbury.
"We serve our teas in dainty cups and on mismatched china that comes mainly from charity shops. We also supply pots of hot water so customers can sit endlessly with a pot of tea. People appreciate that."
Another important element of the Loopy afternoon tea is the brew, with teas blended specially for them by master tea blender Alex Probyn from blendsforfriends.com. Sourcing teas and herbs from around the world, he has built up a stock of 400 different varieties that can be used to create a combination of blends and is also responsible for the teas at The Langham Hotel, for whom he created the eponymous "Langham", a blend of Assam, Darjeeling and Sri Lankan teas. "We have teas like Bricks and Mortar which is a builders' tea, Sparkling Darjeeling, Loopy Lapsang and Blooming Amazing, where the leaves open slowly and flower in the hot water; we serve that in a glass pot. It needs to be drunk in a delicate tea cup because it's quality tea. It tastes different. It's a whole different, glamorous experience," says Salisbury.
Hugely fashionable it may be, but there's nothing new about the need to quell that sinking feeling that hits in the middle of the afternoon, the one that sends you running to the canteen for a Mars Bar and a coffee. It was exactly the same feeling that hit the Duchess of Bedford in the 1840s, although her response was somewhat more genteel and became the delightful tradition that is afternoon tea.
Anna Maria, the 7th Duchess of Bedford was one of Queen Victoria's ladies in waiting which was no picnic, what with all those crinolines to organise. One day, finding her gas at a low peep she asked a footman to deliver tea making equipment and bread and butter to her private room where she enjoyed a sneaky reviving cuppa. What started out as the odd recreational slice of bread and butter with a cup of tea soon developed into experimenting with sandwiches and scones, moved on to muffins and biscuits and the hungry aristocrat ended up with a full-blown tea and cake habit; the afternoon tea party was born.
With the duchess shamelessly introducing her friends to the delights of afternoon tea, it wasn't long before all of fashionable society wanted to try it and London's new five star hotel, The Langham, began serving it to the celebs of the day in 1865, establishing a tradition that survives to this day under the chandeliers of the marbled Palm Court, where the afternoon ritual is accompanied by a tinkling of the ivories on a grand piano.
While the Duchess of Bedford might be credited with its invention, afternoon tea flourished thanks to the practice of barring women from men's clubs and coffee houses. Perhaps this goes some way to explain why it's always been a girl thing. Imprisoned in their homes with nothing but a few cake tins and a tea pot, middle class ladies invited their friends for afternoon tea. Relief came when Lyons teahouses introduced the practice on a mass scale when they opened at the start of the 20th century and began serving women tea and penny buns, regardless of whether they had a male escort or not.
While The Dorchester, The Ritz and Claridge's all serve up award-winning teas that have to be booked well in advance, The Langham claims to have invented the tradition, so it's to the Langham that I took my sweet tooth and love of anything served on a tiered cake stand to investigate the phenomenon.
If you opt for the traditional Wonderland tea, you are greeted with a tea menu that stretches to 38 types, requiring the assistance of a tea sommelier to help you choose. From Chairman Mao's favourite silver needle yellow tea, to the Queen's brew of choice, Oriental Beauty, the list goes on and on. The only tea missing is builders'.
This is a classic, elegant afternoon tea. A pianist playing, white linen tablecloth, pink tea roses in a teapot, bone china plates bearing tiny finger sandwiches filled with "hens eggs" (as opposed to quails? It's that kind of place) and mustard cress; Angus beef and Savora mustard with watercress; smoked Scottish salmon and horseradish.
Fresh tea is provided – working your way through all those cakes – one-bite choux puffs with raspberries, passion fruit and meringue tarts, tiny lemon meringue pies – is thirsty work.
Love Actually actor Bill Nighy was spotted sitting opposite, enjoying an afternoon refreshment of his own. And apparently Nighy is not the only celeb to partake of afternoon tea at The Langham. Chris Evans and Bruce Forsyth (it's his favourite) are also keen on its bijoux snacks, especially since it's across the road from Broadcasting House.
"You've got to book, at weekends especially. It's popular with ladies, for special celebrations and we're seeing an increasing number of businessmen as they see it as the most relaxing way to do business, over cakes," says marketing manager Nick Barrington-Wells.
So if the credit crunch is starting to bite, ditch costly lunches and dinners and indulge yourself in afternoon tea.
Take a slice of advice from someone who preferred a pastry to panic, someone who did her best to avoid losing her head in a crisis, Marie Antoinette, who is said to have advised, "If the people have no bread, let them eat cake."
Afternoon delightThe Balmoral 1 Princes Street, Edinburgh (0131-556 2414
www.thebalmoralhotel.com). Afternoon tea £21, with a glass of Bollinger champagne, £33.50.
Harvey Nichols St Andrew Square, Edinburgh (0131-524 8350,
www.harveynichols.com). Summer Afternoon Tea, £15, with a glass of champagne, £22.
Loopy Lorna's 370-372 Morningside Road, Edinburgh (0131-447 9217). Traditional afternoon tea £14.95.
Rogano 11 Exchange Place, Glasgow (0141 248 4055,
www.roganoglasgow.com). Afternoon tea £15, with a glass of champagne, £22.
The Langham (020 7636 1000,
london.langhamhotels.co.uk), 1c Portland Place, Regent Street, London. Wonderland Tea, from £33, with a half-bottle of Billecart-Salmon Brut Reserve NV, or £110 for two.
Time for tea"The British have an umbilical cord which has never been cut and through which tea flows constantly. It is curious to watch them in times of sudden horror, tragedy or disaster. The pulse stops apparently, and nothing can be done, and no move made, until 'a nice cup of tea' is quickly made. There is no question that it brings solace and does steady the mind" Marlene Dietrich
"If you are cold, tea will warm you. If you are too heated, it will cool you. If you are depressed, it will cheer you. If you are excited, it will calm you" William Gladstone, 1865
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea" Henry James, Portrait of a Lady
"Great love affairs start with champagne and end with tisane" Honoré de Balzac
"Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cozy, doesn't try it on" Billy Connolly
"I'm a tidy sort of bloke. I don't like chaos. I kept records in the record rack, tea in the tea caddy, and pot in the pot box" George Harrison
"You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me" C S Lewis
"Better to be deprived of food for three days, than tea for one" Ancient Chinese proverb
"Come along inside... We'll see if tea and buns can make the world a better place" The Wind in the Willows
"As long as it is hot, wet and goes down the right way, it's fine with me" Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York
