You’ve sugar-soaped the walls, slicked your living room in Farrow & Ball’s Pigeon, put three coats on the ceiling by balancing on high-heels, two copies of the Yellow Pages and a chair, then brushed 24ct gold leaf on to your cornice.

ALWAYS on the look out for new sushi restaurants, I was thrilled when a friend suggested Bonsai Bar Bistro for supper. Set between Holyrood and South Clerk Street, it is a small, unassuming restaurant.

HERE’S a non-typical example of a conversation at Spectrum Towers.

MORINDA citrifolia (aka the dog dumpling) smells like cheese when ripe, resembles an obese caterpillar, and is especially attractive to ants and fruit bats. Then there’s the durian, which gives off an odour like turpentine and has a custard-textured pulp.

THERE are many things I like in restaurants, but the acronym BYOB is my second favourite – pipped only by the same letters on the door of a restaurant within 100 yards of a decent off-licence.

THE Red Box Noodle Bar is set handily close to some of the main university buildings on West Nicholson Street. With takeaway additional to their sit-in tables, the small restaurant was packed on the weekday we went in.

TO PARAPHRASE Marks & Spencer, The Scran & Scallie is no ordinary pub, it’s a Tom Kitchin gastro-pub.

I AM not one of those people who gets obsessed about their diet, but when I was feeling mildly under the weather the other day a restaurateur friend told me that it was down to a conflict between my blood group and my eating habits.

OVERLOOKING the Meadows, Victor Hugo offers Marchmont residents a little respite from students. Full to the brim with families and workers, there is also a queue out the door when we popped in for some lunch.

I visited Viva Mexico by accident. There were two new places on my reviewing list, both of which, it turns out, are closed on a Tuesday.

REVOLUTION has built up a reputation as a destination bar for cocktails, parties and flavoured vodkas.

Build it, and they will come.” So goes the famous expression from the film Field of Dreams. However, I’d like to reword it to: “Stick a playground in it, and they will come.”