John Lewis wallpaper snob Boris Johnson faces trouble ahead over his attitude to this venerable British institution – Aidan Smith

Could this be the moment when Carrie Symonds told Boris Johnson how much the new Downing Street wallpaper was going to cost? (Picture: Adrian Dennis/AFP via Getty Images)

With just 48 hours to go, it’s the final push and there can be no room for error.

Almost more important than the contents of the message they’ll deliver on the virtual doorsteps, candidates in Thursday’s various elections up and down the land will be issued with stern reminders of what not to say. Uppermost will be: no dissing of venerable British institutions.

In Hartlepool, scene of a by-election, Parliamentary contenders will be specifically instructed not to confuse mushy peas with guacamole. Peter – now Lord – Mandelson is supposed to have once done this in a local chip shop and was immediately deemed to be one of the metropolitan elite, out of touch with traditional Labour values. Apocryphal or not, the tale continues to serve as a warning.

For Holyrood hopefuls, too, there will be tailor-made advice – to be followed or else – and it affects those fighting seats in Edinburgh. It runs something like this: “The John Lewis branch in Scotland’s capital city now has to trade underneath the ‘golden turd’. It does not deserve Bojo dumping on it as well. On no account sneer at the soft furnishings.”

A famous Monty Python sketch features the typically surreal punchline: “Nobody expects… the comfy chair!” In Westminster, in the midst of a global pandemic, few would have anticipated comfy chairs – because those in John Lewis most assuredly are – becoming the subject of fevered debate but then British politics, especially with Boris Johnson around, is its own kind of comedy.